Ahhh, yeah, that would have to be some serious dedication to a bit for sure.

Could be worse.

Could be out there without a chicken

Were they not mocking the prevalence of people saying that by applying it to an absurd thing?

How do you know they weren’t joking?

Man, back then if you didn’t see their movies together, you were missing out.

This is definitely the weakest they did, but it’s still funnier than most movies made before or since. It was two comic masters chewing the scenery and not holding back.

Tbh, there aren’t many comic duos that can top Pryor and Wilder, and they weren’t even a true duo.

We have household joke that the hen is allowed to eat our eyeballs, particularly if we’re dead, but not limited to that state.

Oh yeah, chickens will wreck lizards, alive or dead.

They really are predators, just not exclusively so.

Our rooster sometimes gets in the mood and will go out into the brush and run down mice and such. The hens usually just grab what comes to them though. They’re plenty satisfied with their feed, the occasional egg that they don’t want around, and bugs. But if a small rodent catches their eyes, it is on. There will be mighty roars! Okay, more loud and satisfied buking with the sounds of thrashing as they dismember their prey.

But they aren’t really mean per se. They’re just driven by instincts more than a lot of critters. They see blood, and that means food, even if it’s a flock member bleeding. They have to establish their hierarchy within the flock, and that does come with some (okay, a lot sometimes) pecking, but it isn’t being done just for the fun of it. It admissions maintains a stable flock and ensures resources for the ones that are on top if resources run low.

As long as there’s plenty of food and space, they don’t kill each other intentionally, as in to eat. They’re just highly motivated, and it goes bad sometimes.

They can be really sweet to each other, and to humans. My little hen is sitting here on the arm of the couch preening and seeking attention as I type this. Every evening when she comes in, we cuddle a bit before she naps. And she’ll nestle with both the other birds at times as well. She’ll also keep both of them in line with pecks as needed, including the big numpty of a rooster that’s twice her size, but ten minutes later they’ll be in their little spots next to each other being companionable.

They aren’t exactly smart, or even highly complex in the way you might expect birds to be if you’ve been around parrots and their ilk. But they do have that mix of vicious instinct and affection that a lot of social animals have.

If you’re interested, in my post history, last sunday I did my usual weekly comment in the !casualconversation@piefed.social pets sunday post. I put pictures of our three in the comment. The community used to be at !casualconversation@lemm.ee , but that instance is shutting down. But I’ve been telling stories about our adventures in chickening for a while now. They are endlessly entertaining to me lol.

Well, the degree and severity of what you’re describing isn’t what most people experience, and it seems like it is at an unhealthy degree of frequency and severity.

I would say that anyone experiencing that kind of inner turmoil would benefit from evaluation and treatment. Trying to diagnose someone online is a sucker’s bet even if you’re a qualified professional, and I seriously doubt you’re going to find one of those here on lemmy randomly. But, yeah, if a family member or friend out here in meatspace told me they were experiencing that, I’d be helping them find either a psychiatrist or other mental health provider sooner rather than later.

Most people do experience at least occasional intrusive thoughts, but not to that level. It’s very good that you recognize it’s an inner voice rather than a separate source though. It does tend to mean you’ll respond well to one or more of the various treatment options, which will depend in exactly what the root cause is. Likely, there would be a combination of medications and talk therapy of some variation or another.

And, I suspect that even though most people need to try a few meds before they find the best options, that you will likely get relief quickly once that happens. So you’ll be able to approach other treatments and benefit from them quickly as well.

Oh, that’ll definitely get them doing it. But sometimes, they just decide that thing looks yummy and go for it, even when they’ve got good calcium supply in their feed.

It is when they’re acting as a police force.

Pfft, that’s target practice

You know, my favorite thing about that channel is that they both explain why something can’t happen, and then go into great detail about how horrible it would be if it did. They fully commit to the questions.

Man, rizz is the new yeet, and both belong on the pedestal of excellent slang.

Im finna yeet rizz into heavy rotation

Then they didn’t schedule a day to go, they just decided to roll up.

Hell, they’ll eat their own eggs just because. Don’t even need to be desperate. Chickens be brutal lol

Chickens will definitely pick and peck at each other until things get ugly, even with all possible room to roam. It isn’t caused by poor conditions like too small cages and such, but factory level conditions definitely make the problem worse.

You can have an acre and a handful of hens, and they’ll at least occasionally peck at each other. The problem really only starts when there’s an injury, or conditions prevent a bird from moving away from more peck heavy birds. You don’t want an injured chicken kept with the flock. It isn’t even necessarily eating the injured bird out of some kind of prey drive. They just go at even minor wounds.

Now, with enough space and care being taken, that isn’t likely to result in death. But it can, no matter how much room is involved if you don’t isolate injured birds.

I’m not sure exactly how “wild” you’re thinking, since you aren’t going to run into truly wild chickens in most places. But feral ones that started as kept birds, those you’ll find in plenty of places. Our neighborhood has two flocks that started from abandoned birds something like twenty years ago. And they’ll definitely eat the hell out of one of their own if it gets sick or injured. And they’ll absolutely eat one of their own that gets killed by a car or whatever.

We have a partly feral hen that decided she owns our yard. A while back, her comb got injured, and we had to keep our other hen inside long enough for the injury to heal, since we couldn’t catch the volunteer hen. They see a little blood, and they’re like “yum!”, the same as they do when they see a worm or bug or even a piece of meat.

And chickens will eat any meat they can get to. Chicken is even considered a good food for chickens. Won’t hurt them, plenty of protein, and they’ll gladly pick the bones clean of scraps.

Honestly, dishwasher safe makes your request essentially impossible. None of the options for that are without their own issues. Composite materials are all built using some form or another of adhesive, and those have the same issues as plastic when it comes to swallowing things that aren’t food.

So you’ve got to pick between light materials like plastic and composites you can shove in a dishwasher, or a wood that’s heavier, but only needs quick washing by hand.

So far, nobody has come up with a solution that’s perfect, though wood products constructed with normal wood glues come pretty close in every respect but weight. Even there, while a decent sized wood board is going to be heavy and awkward to wash, at least it isn’t going to slide around.

Being real, there’s not much in the way of easy to get things that are painless, even if they’re fast. Such options have been legislated away. Others have been limited by additions that make them difficult or impossible to take in quantity.

So you really can’t rely on anything you’re likely to have available without also having the knowledge to change them into a form that removes those barriers. And, if you had that already, you wouldn’t be here asking this.

Now, I’m not giving anyone instructions on how to off themselves. It’s illegal in enough places there’s no way I’m risking that for a total stranger.

What I can say is that the things you’ve listed here either wouldn’t work at all, would be painful, or won’t work the way you want.

You’ll have to do your own research on this kind of thing. Nobody that would give you advice in the open could be trusted to give you good advice. I’m not even talking about someone fucking with you, it’s just that it’s kinda specialized knowledge in terms of knowing what to do to achieve the goal of a fast and painless death that will also not fuck you up if it fails.

Like, there’s plenty of stuff that’s fast, plenty that’s painless (or so fast that the pain isn’t a factor), but damn near everything that’s going to be available to the average Joe is going to have a chance of failure. Most of those will fuck up your brain or body, and you’ll be even worse off than before.

So you have to independently verify shit. Even someone well meaning may not have awareness of possible outcomes. Even someone that’s 100% behind right to death can still be wrong in their knowledge.

Dammit Harbor Freight! Always ruining a mid tier joke with affordable pricing on acceptable quality goods!

Coming to this fairly late, so I hope that means things have eased up for you.

But, fwiw, I’m happy when I see a post you’ve made, even one like this.

1337 comments?

You are truly uber