I cringe every time I hear another guy refer to women like this

  • Amputret@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    22
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    2 months ago

    I had a woman boss who would always refer to women as female (like “you know the manager of that department is a female?!”). I’m still not sure how I feel about it.

      • Amputret@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        2 months ago

        I know it’s a really awkward phrasing, but “I had a boss, who was a woman…” sounded even more awkward to me than just “woman boss” 🤷‍♂️.

    • DomeGuy@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      2 months ago

      I think the best response is always “you don’t know that”. Sex and Gender are not the same thing, and adults should know by now that they can’t tell what’s in someone else’s pants by looking at their face.

      • Amputret@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        9
        ·
        2 months ago

        Well I did once explain the difference between sex and gender once as she seemed confused and was unable to wrap her head around a colleague using they/them, but that led to a slightly vacant yet patronising expression on her face. Also, call me a coward but I’m not going to clap back at my own goddamn boss, I prefer my working days to not be more of a living hell than they already are. Regardless, she’s retired now.

      • michaelmrose@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        2 months ago

        First it doesn’t really matter what’s between their legs unless you intend to date them. It’s easy enough to determine what most people identify as and thus what you ought to treat them as.

        That said you can tell what virtually everyone has in there pants. 99.5% of people are cisgender. Of the people who are transgender it is usually not terribly hard to see most of the time both what their birth gender is and what gender they identify as which is why its pretty trivial to be polite. Although it is impossible to tell if someone has had surgery at least in the US you could bet on no and be right most of the time because of cost and inequality around here.

          • michaelmrose@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            2 months ago

            Meanwhile its impossible to tell the difference between coffee and milk just by looking at it! If you disagree I shall declare you an anti-milkist. It’s completely impossible you disagree with my assertion therefore you must be motivated by bigotry!

            • NιƙƙιDιɱҽʂ@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              3
              ·
              edit-2
              2 months ago

              Creative analogy. However, it’s not even remotely applicable.

              You’re falling victim to a basic observation bias. You notice the trans people who don’t pass, but you have no idea how many trans people you see that do pass, and you’d never even consider that they’re trans.

              Again, found the “but I’m not even transphobic” transphobe.

              • michaelmrose@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                1
                ·
                2 months ago

                You are correct that I might be unclear on how many are passing be virtue of only noticing the portion that do not.

                Still 99.5% of people are cisgender. Some portion of those who are transgender don’t pass. So 99.6–99.7 have a discernible gender. I still think my statement is correct numerically. It’s not even clear what position you are defending and what position beyond a picayune one you think I’m attacking.

        • DomeGuy@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          2 months ago

          Male or female = sex = what’s in their pants.

          Man or woman = gender = how they express and identify.

          While I recognize that some may use these terms differently, I find that having a strict sex/gender seperation for them in my personal use helps greatly in keeping the concepts distinct and having empathy for those whose gender is not sex-conformant.

          That it also leads to a pithy rebuttal to “what is a woman” bigotry is just a nice side effect. Apologies if my usage was not immediately apparent.

          • michaelmrose@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            2 months ago

            Male or female vs man or woman are just adjectives vs nouns they both used to reference both gender. Using one for sex and the other for gender is simply inaccurate. This is why one may say that someone is a transgender woman but one never hears that someone is a male woman unless its M A I L woman.

            • DomeGuy@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              2 months ago

              English is an organic language and can shift subtly with each speaker,. Especially if prior usage makes communication more difficult.

              NOT having distinct terms for sex and gender makes communication and understanding harder. If you have alternate terms you think are better I’d love to hear them., but if all you have is an insistence that “incorrect English” is a thing I’ll just have to wish you a good day.