Edit: If she’s vomiting drunk do you think she’s going to remember consenting in the morning? Or wake up, remember nothing, and think you raped her? She might remember, she might not. It’s a roll of the dice, but there’s no way I’m rolling those dice. You go argue in court how “she really wanted you” all you want.
Taking this series of events at face value, it could absolutely be argued that she enthusiasticly constented (wrapping her legs around him and kissing), however, annon did absolutely right, and I would have done the same.
On the other hand, someone holding on to and kissing someone else for a long time is clearly into the other person at the time.
Had annon been drunk, he could probably be excused for not realizing the situarion had it continued, but as he wasn’t (from what I understand) he would have been held to a higher standard
I think more people should be posting that its just unattractive to be pukey drunk. How fun could the sex even be? She might even fall asleep in the middle of it.
If anything, anon would have been the aggrieved party. “No” doesn’t mean yes or later or maybe, it means “no.” If getting drunk absolved you of all responsibility, DUIs wouldn’t exist. Folks need to respect boundaries.
At a certain point of unwanted touching, you begin to wonder whether you’ve done something wrong, communicated something improperly, offered some hint at your consent. It’s a foreign sensation, a unique invasion and no two people respond exactly alike. Half an hour of molestation is a lot. It’s plenty of time to reach a trauma response. I don’t know whether anon, in this assuredly made up bait story, was in such a state but even the possibility is uncomfortable.
Okay the guy could have left way earlier, she’s not going to die, he only stayed to win Brownie points with her anyways. If he really cared for her instead of himself he would have called her boyfriend immediately and ask him to come watch her instead.
He wanted to play boyfriend and then when she rightfully took that as an advance he noped out. He’s not a victim here, he’s just thoughtless and impulsive. This is what happens when you try to have your cake and eat it too.
Hey-oh, I just wanted to say that it isn’t unreasonable for someone to take care of someone they like when they are ill in a case like this. I’m sure having a crush may have incentivise helping her but I have also stuck around and helped friends with partners in situations like that too, both men and women, and not called their SO. While hindsight may be “call the partner” 1: That’s not always possible, it really depends on circumstances (maybe partner is drinking with others? Or is on a trip, etc.). And 2: It’s quite reasonable to feel better to stay and help the person rather than wait and/or just leave it to someone else since you are present and others are not.
Brownie points or not, it seems like the intent wasn’t to take advantage of the situation but help a person who was in a bad state. And yeah, probably because they liked them. So just leaving someone, whether you have a crush or not, in a miserable state (see: Throwing up) kinda seems like an ass move.
The rest of the interaction I have no comment on. End result is OP leaving after they were in a good enough state to be left that way (Not gonna be throwing up anymore)
There are many ways this could go wrong morally or legally. Without being there, no one can know. (Which makes it dangerous legally).
Just because she vomited doesn’t mean much. Especially, since they were “pre gaming”. Idiots in college would often slam shots or beers in drinking games, throwing up before they had a chance to really absorb much alcohol.
Morally, it depends on the power dynamic. How drunk was he compared to her? In this case, it sounds like the OP wasn’t drunk and made the safe decision. Even if he would be morally/legally right, the situation with the bf would probably involve a ton of unneeded drama.
The alternative is rape charges… so… yeah.
Edit: If she’s vomiting drunk do you think she’s going to remember consenting in the morning? Or wake up, remember nothing, and think you raped her? She might remember, she might not. It’s a roll of the dice, but there’s no way I’m rolling those dice. You go argue in court how “she really wanted you” all you want.
Taking this series of events at face value, it could absolutely be argued that she enthusiasticly constented (wrapping her legs around him and kissing), however, annon did absolutely right, and I would have done the same.
Someone’s drunk enough to vomit is not exactly in a consenting state.
On the other hand, someone holding on to and kissing someone else for a long time is clearly into the other person at the time.
Had annon been drunk, he could probably be excused for not realizing the situarion had it continued, but as he wasn’t (from what I understand) he would have been held to a higher standard
Someone kissing me after having just puked would kill my boner too
I think more people should be posting that its just unattractive to be pukey drunk. How fun could the sex even be? She might even fall asleep in the middle of it.
You don’t need to be drunk to vomit. Often kids will slam shots very quickly and throw up before they have a chance to absorb the alcohol.
If anything, anon would have been the aggrieved party. “No” doesn’t mean yes or later or maybe, it means “no.” If getting drunk absolved you of all responsibility, DUIs wouldn’t exist. Folks need to respect boundaries.
I am with you right up untill he kissed her.
Though I read that as a way to distract her and get out of the situation.
At a certain point of unwanted touching, you begin to wonder whether you’ve done something wrong, communicated something improperly, offered some hint at your consent. It’s a foreign sensation, a unique invasion and no two people respond exactly alike. Half an hour of molestation is a lot. It’s plenty of time to reach a trauma response. I don’t know whether anon, in this assuredly made up bait story, was in such a state but even the possibility is uncomfortable.
Okay the guy could have left way earlier, she’s not going to die, he only stayed to win Brownie points with her anyways. If he really cared for her instead of himself he would have called her boyfriend immediately and ask him to come watch her instead.
He wanted to play boyfriend and then when she rightfully took that as an advance he noped out. He’s not a victim here, he’s just thoughtless and impulsive. This is what happens when you try to have your cake and eat it too.
Hey-oh, I just wanted to say that it isn’t unreasonable for someone to take care of someone they like when they are ill in a case like this. I’m sure having a crush may have incentivise helping her but I have also stuck around and helped friends with partners in situations like that too, both men and women, and not called their SO. While hindsight may be “call the partner” 1: That’s not always possible, it really depends on circumstances (maybe partner is drinking with others? Or is on a trip, etc.). And 2: It’s quite reasonable to feel better to stay and help the person rather than wait and/or just leave it to someone else since you are present and others are not.
Brownie points or not, it seems like the intent wasn’t to take advantage of the situation but help a person who was in a bad state. And yeah, probably because they liked them. So just leaving someone, whether you have a crush or not, in a miserable state (see: Throwing up) kinda seems like an ass move.
The rest of the interaction I have no comment on. End result is OP leaving after they were in a good enough state to be left that way (Not gonna be throwing up anymore)
Well to be fair he still left them anyways, just 5 minutes later.
Not really. The alternative is raping someone, but charges are extremely unlikely, hardly many rapes are actually prosecuted.
There are many ways this could go wrong morally or legally. Without being there, no one can know. (Which makes it dangerous legally).
Just because she vomited doesn’t mean much. Especially, since they were “pre gaming”. Idiots in college would often slam shots or beers in drinking games, throwing up before they had a chance to really absorb much alcohol.
Morally, it depends on the power dynamic. How drunk was he compared to her? In this case, it sounds like the OP wasn’t drunk and made the safe decision. Even if he would be morally/legally right, the situation with the bf would probably involve a ton of unneeded drama.
Not rape but it doesn’t matter.
If she claims it was because she is worried her bf will find out OP is fucked.