Most recently? My wife was wfh and out of the kindness of my heart I brought her a coke. She was on a zoom call with her entire team. I was pantsless.

Why would I share it here? I don’t want to be embarrassed again.

I was reading porn on my grandma’s laptop cause I was bored at a holiday get together.

Laptop battery died but I’m old so I’m not used to laptops saving your data when powered off.

I plugged the laptop in and went about my day. 20 minutes later all I hear is “what are you doing looking at this kind of smut?”

Luckily I was halfway out the front door to go smoke when I heard it so I was able to play it off like I didn’t.

Grandma doesn’t hug me the same…

Reading Atlas Shrugged, liking it, and supporting Ron Paul.

My friend and I had finished a long day at university and we were slowly walking towards the bus stop. We saw our bus but neither of us were willing to run so it left without us. We waited in line behind a dozen other students because this bus stop services 3 bus routes, the other two would take longer for us to get home so we never use them. We chatted and after a few minutes waiting I turn around and see the line behind us was over 30 people. A few minutes later our bus came and we patiently waited for the passengers to get off, we chatted some more. A couple minutes pass and the bus is empty but the line wasn’t moving. Then we stood there as the bus with the front door open slowly drove pass with a confused driver staring out at a line of 50+ people waiting in the cold. I than realised we were the first in line for that bus and everyone was waiting for us. I whispered to my friend that I didn’t care how long it would take but we are going to take the other bus home today.

I once waved furiously to a car that was not my dad’s. This was over 20 years ago and I still think about it.

A fly flew into my nose and dragged gallons of booger-slime out of my nose, with no handkerchief available for miles. I have illustrated it here:

Sorry, I’m too lazy to translate. You can read the full story on my blog.

The time I put on my pants the wrong way around and found out while standing in front of the whole class comes second. I think that was before Kris Kross.

I’m a sober alcoholic. I probably don’t remember it.

I’ve done a lot of self-forgiveness in recent years, so a lot of the simpler and sillier ones I don’t think of as embarrassing anymore.

Could be the time I flipped a guy off after he cut me off and I missed a light. He saw me in his mirror and started freaking out and swerving, almost hit a curb.

I didn’t mean to ruin his day. Just letting off steam.

Either that or the time I drove on the shoulder to avoid a car stopped in the middle of the road. When I merged back she had started to move and we collided. Totally my fault.

I only realized later that due to her age, location, and stickers on her car from a nearby Catholic University that I’d probably hit a nun.

So I was in the theater watching Cars 2…

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I guessed someone’s age as 40 and she was 25. To be fair she talked about how she had worked for her company for a very long time, and she was sitting in the mostly dark outside. But that was terrible.

In my younger years I passed out in public 3 separate times, once it was just me and my mom outside a bank, which wasn’t too bad, but the second time I was at an all-school assembly, and the third time I was at an Easter Sunday church service, and every time it was embarrassing as fuck.

I’m sure it hasn’t happened yet.

I told to my cousin “awww you are prégnant… Again.” she said “No.”