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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 5th, 2023

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  • I never thought I would mind changing my last name when getting married until it actually happened, and I was surprisingly emotional about it. It felt like I was erasing my identity or something, a totally unexpected feeling that came out of nowhere. It was also weird to have to change my signature after having it for so many years.

    We ended up getting divorced 7 years later and I reclaimed my maiden name, and needless to say, if I ever get married again, I will not be changing my last name. It was also a nightmare of paperwork to change it (both to get married and divorced), and I don’t want to do that yet again.



  • I’m visiting my elderly father this weekend and he told me last night that he remembers when he and my mom took me to the doctor when I was like 2 or 3 and I tested positive for high amounts of lead (not lead poisoning, just a high amount), and now I’m like damn, maybe that explains why I suck at a few things…

    I wouldn’t say I’m legit dumb though. I maintained a 4.0 GPA in college and I get by just fine, but now I’m like “do I suck at math because I was exposed to lead as a child?”










  • 1999 - Taco Bell nachos did me in, never ate there or at any Taco Bell ever again.

    2004 - Some sushi joint outside of Tacoma, WA, I had the shrimp tempura. Nothing tasted off, but that was my first experience with it coming out of both ends at the same time.

    2005 - I was an idiot that thought, for God knows what reason, that the floor of the trailer I called home at the time while stationed in Iraq would remain cold enough to keep a can of Fritos dip cool after I opened it (we did not have a fridge). I was very very wrong and paid the price later the following evening after finishing the dip that day, and that was my second experience with it coming out both ends at the same time. I know it was my own fault, but I still can’t eat those dips to this day.

    Fast forward to 2020 - 2023, something is making me randomly ill on a monthly, sometimes weekly basis. I eat a regular meal, 30 minutes later I’m in the bathroom with horrible cramps and shits. It took me nearly 3 years to figure out that I’d become lactose intolerant due to age (this is apparently a common occurrence as you get older). Haven’t had any issues now that I know to avoid most dairy, but I can immediately tell if I’ve unknowingly ingested some, because it feels like I’ve been poisoned 15 minutes into consuming it. Then comes the frantic race to swallow as much Lactaid and lactase pills as I can to calm the storm before it can reach my intestines.