"…which is also why I call Marilyn Manson ‘Brian Hugh Warner’, Eminem ‘Marshall Bruce Mathers III’, and 50 Cent ‘Curtis James Jackson III’. Also, my neighbor’s legal name is Michael, but for some fucking reason, this weirdo says he goes by ‘Mike’! What kind of nonsense is that? That name isn’t on any of his government documents!

Of course, the notion that I have to call someone by their legal name isn’t a real rule; it’s an arbitrary standard being enforced by no entity but myself, but despite that, I’m gonna enforce it so harshly that I can’t even give a wholehearted attempt at disobeying it!

My made-up rules* come from my very big brain thought process which definitely isn’t mental gymnastics! I’m also totally supportive of you being a huge queer, but until you get the court order for your name change, you’re [deadname] to me, and that’s completely non-negotiable! Sorry, I don’t *literally fucking do make the rules!"

This pathetic logic is literally something that my stepmother and my father pushed to the staunchest degree. They claimed they were allies and got pissed off and aggressive whenever I politely critiqued them on their deadnaming bullshit or anything they failed to accomplish that real allies could.

So glad they’re out of my life and never coming back!