Oh my god really? Oh thank you so much! I just had to start doing it! Holy shit! Incredible! Astounding! You will surely be rich and famous. Have you heard of Oprah? Talk to her! Maybe she can give you your own show with nonsensical useless opinions that demonstrate a complete lack of knowledge on the subject and a tacit hostility to anything you don’t understand!
Pick a random direction to off and proceed to fuck in that direction, please.
I have clinical depression, so I’m essentially an amalgamation of 1st and 2nd pick. I know, it’s a mess, I’m not okay with it, but when I eventually clean, I still feel like shit because it doesn’t solve my problems. The devious thing is that I’m fully aware beforehand that tidying up and cleaning will not make a difference, but while doing it, I have that naive hope that it will.
The amount of times I’ve heard “just go to therapy” or the even less helpful “just look at the bright side of life” is staggering. People really seem to think I enjoy hating myself and hoping that I don’t wake up tomorrow.
Oh, another fun argument is “look at some horrible shit that happened to someone, you have it way better”. I’m sorry that seeing others’ misery does not make me feel better.
look at some horrible shit that happened to someone, you have it way better
I hate this more than anything… Yes I get that people are literally dying. Now I hate myself on my normal level of hating myself and I hate myself for not being able to be happy when there are people literally dying right now. Thanks.
My cousin was always the “there are children starving in Africa” types. It doesn’t ever help. Just don’t.
That’s why I like Unfuck your Habitat. There was a blog, a book and an app.
It talks about how cleaning is morally neutral, and doing something is better than doing nothing. I don’t have any affiliation but I find that 20/10s (or even 10/20s where you clean for 10 and break for 20) allow just enough measurable progress for me to feel as though I’ve accomplished something, to put the “you’re useless” thought to bed.
Of course this doesn’t help if you’re not ready for it, but know that you’re not a bad person for having a messy living space. I’m sorry that your disorder makes things hard for you.
for me a pretty big thing that helps is keeping a space that’s easy to keep clean. Segmenting things, and making storage of them super trivial. The less time i have to spend cleaning something up, the less messy it’s going to be in general.
Listen Mr. Big Brain, I have ADHD and I keep a messy home, don’t like it per say. But it’s certainly not a matter of laziness, I’m interested in what I desire the most. I follow that, this has led me to career in the military, through college (thanks hyper focus as a symptom), learning languages, learning to program, embedded IoT design, fitness, and so many other beautiful things.
Yeah, I guess it sucks knowing you can fuck off at will, however I’d rather have my inconsistent adhd with unlimited energy than whatever you have going on that’s led to your shitty behavior.
Sorry my floor is cluttered, it’s quite literally so low on my totem pole that it’s barely a concern, but sure keep deriving your vain superiority from that.
While not exactly false, there’s astronomically better ways to put this. Plus the fact that momentum doesn’t always work reliably or consistently for people with ADHD.
And ignorance is no excuse for being blatantly rude.
Some days it’s this way and a ton of mental work, others can be simple to start, but counting efficiently is near impossible, so at the end you’ve worked on cleaning all day, but it’s still messy.
As a fellow adhder yer right tho.
I’m literally laying in the middle of my filth right now haha but since I’m going for coffee downstairs anyway, I’m going to take down four glasses as well! Because you’re right!
Just starting somewhere is the correct call (though I’d rephrase it as “Start anywhere”) but I wouldn’t call not doing it laziness
There’s a decision paralysis that’s really hard to overcome on where to start
I know it sounds silly, but it’s really a major hurdle
The more times you make it past the initial hurdle by “starting anywhere” the easier it becomes to get past that initial hurdle
I find breaking things into much smaller tasks helps a lot. I personally make actual physical lists so I can cross things out as I go because it’s more satisfying to cross things off and it’s easier to not get distracted.
For example: Cleaning my room is the major task but it’s too big and full of choices; cleaning 3d prining corner, organize shelf, vacuum, clean my desk, etc. I’m going to grab 1 minor task from it, cleaning my desk.
The minor task of “cleaning my desk” can be broken down further into so many sub-tasks; Put books back on shelf (this can be broken up as well due to how things are sorted and the variety on my desk), put dishes in sink (can lead to other minor tasks), sort mail into 2 piles, throw away junk mail, put important mail into filing cabinet, put tools back in toolbox, wipe down monitors, etc, etc.
Breaking tasks into smaller pieces makes those initial hurdles easier to overcome and also makes “starting anywhere” easier. Not to mention there’s the dopamine spike of completing those little tasks.
Also learning to accept that sometimes the major task you want to accomplish is too large for one day helps.
It’s hard (trust me I know) but it’s worth it in the long run to get practice doing it.
I know man. I’m nearly 40. At 20 I would have never guessed I could be motivated to do things beyond my immediate needs and wants. I honestly thought it was a character flaw that I was stuck with. Not that I’m perfect now, but the progress I’ve made is eeally a testament to how much I’ve grown up.
All through my 20s I thought everyone struggled with motivation like I did but after working on it for awhile and being medicated it’s like going from life at legendary difficulty to hard mode.
It’s so much easier, though I still wouldn’t call it easy.
Look, you’re obviously not just some random person who doesn’t understand how this shit works. You aren’t wrong. But you are being a monumental fucking asshole.
Maybe you’re one of the rare few where this sort of hard talk helped you, but for the overwhelming majority of people they aren’t going to get anything helpful to them from the way you’re posting.
If you wanted to gloat about how you’ve managed to get over this shit while bullying people who are still struggling, congrats you did it with aplomb.
If you were hoping to do literally anything else you’ve failed.
All you’re doing is coming in and declaring it a personal problem to suffer from chemical imbalances in the brain. This is the very first comment here that you’ve even touched on coping strategies or anything other than “lol, stop being lazy and just try you sack of shit”.
There absolutely is a lot of learned helplessness in ADHD and other neurodivergent communities online, and an increasing trend of it in online spaces in general. It bothers the hell out of me too.
This is absolutely not the fucking way to respond to it.
I’d posit that a lot of your abuse here is just externalizing your own negative self talk. Be better to others and to yourself, you festering dickhead.
You’re not wrong. That guy was being a dick and he also had some good points. The two aren’t mutually exclusive and more people need to learn that being blunt isn’t the same thing as being incorrect. People shouldn’t be required to predict how you will respond when they’re making a point. Granted, it’s certainly easier to be convincing when you’re not alienating your audience by the way you structure your argument but sometimes, especially on the internet, it’s much easier to jump right to the point than to spend the time listing out all the potential caveats to what you’re saying. It’s just as easy to make an attempt to understand the overall point as it is to choose to get hung up on the way something is worded. People just choose the latter because it makes dismissing the point being made easier.
Honestly though the most interesting thing about this thread is that his comments got removed and all the comments telling him to go fuck himself are still up. That seems like inconsistent moderation to me. Either let people speak their mind or encourage civil discourse evenly.
While I personally do find a level of success starting something - after starting, continuing is much easier - that doesn’t mean that the difficulty I have with starting things is laziness.
Removed by mod
Oh my god really? Oh thank you so much! I just had to start doing it! Holy shit! Incredible! Astounding! You will surely be rich and famous. Have you heard of Oprah? Talk to her! Maybe she can give you your own show with nonsensical useless opinions that demonstrate a complete lack of knowledge on the subject and a tacit hostility to anything you don’t understand!
Pick a random direction to off and proceed to fuck in that direction, please.
I have clinical depression, so I’m essentially an amalgamation of 1st and 2nd pick. I know, it’s a mess, I’m not okay with it, but when I eventually clean, I still feel like shit because it doesn’t solve my problems. The devious thing is that I’m fully aware beforehand that tidying up and cleaning will not make a difference, but while doing it, I have that naive hope that it will.
The amount of times I’ve heard “just go to therapy” or the even less helpful “just look at the bright side of life” is staggering. People really seem to think I enjoy hating myself and hoping that I don’t wake up tomorrow.
Oh, another fun argument is “look at some horrible shit that happened to someone, you have it way better”. I’m sorry that seeing others’ misery does not make me feel better.
I hate this more than anything… Yes I get that people are literally dying. Now I hate myself on my normal level of hating myself and I hate myself for not being able to be happy when there are people literally dying right now. Thanks.
My cousin was always the “there are children starving in Africa” types. It doesn’t ever help. Just don’t.
my response is always “yes, that’s exactly my problem, i could be that person”
That’s why I like Unfuck your Habitat. There was a blog, a book and an app.
It talks about how cleaning is morally neutral, and doing something is better than doing nothing. I don’t have any affiliation but I find that 20/10s (or even 10/20s where you clean for 10 and break for 20) allow just enough measurable progress for me to feel as though I’ve accomplished something, to put the “you’re useless” thought to bed.
Of course this doesn’t help if you’re not ready for it, but know that you’re not a bad person for having a messy living space. I’m sorry that your disorder makes things hard for you.
for me a pretty big thing that helps is keeping a space that’s easy to keep clean. Segmenting things, and making storage of them super trivial. The less time i have to spend cleaning something up, the less messy it’s going to be in general.
What was the comment? They deleted it
Actually their comment was removed and they were given a ban
Basically they said “Just start somewhere, it’s not that hard.” And then proceeded to say ADHD is no excuse for laziness.
So yeah, banned for rage baiting/trolling
Removed by mod
I’m sorry, but shouldn’t you have used your executive functions to do the task of fucking off?
Removed by mod
Listen Mr. Big Brain, I have ADHD and I keep a messy home, don’t like it per say. But it’s certainly not a matter of laziness, I’m interested in what I desire the most. I follow that, this has led me to career in the military, through college (thanks hyper focus as a symptom), learning languages, learning to program, embedded IoT design, fitness, and so many other beautiful things.
Yeah, I guess it sucks knowing you can fuck off at will, however I’d rather have my inconsistent adhd with unlimited energy than whatever you have going on that’s led to your shitty behavior.
Sorry my floor is cluttered, it’s quite literally so low on my totem pole that it’s barely a concern, but sure keep deriving your vain superiority from that.
Wow, you are a complete tool. This isn’t even about adhd anymore. You have the self awareness of a stop sign.
Oh is that all? Thank God you were here to share that groundbreaking trick with us…
While not exactly false, there’s astronomically better ways to put this. Plus the fact that momentum doesn’t always work reliably or consistently for people with ADHD.
Don’t be a jerk.
Fuck you.
Removed by mod
And ignorance is no excuse for being blatantly rude.
Some days it’s this way and a ton of mental work, others can be simple to start, but counting efficiently is near impossible, so at the end you’ve worked on cleaning all day, but it’s still messy.
Do you have adhd? It seems like you don’t really understand what is going on here.
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So you should understand that it’s entirely out of peoples hands without help and support/medication.
It’s great you have that, do you think everyone else does? Or are you lying about being diagnosed or just don’t understand the disorder to begin with?
As a fellow adhder yer right tho. I’m literally laying in the middle of my filth right now haha but since I’m going for coffee downstairs anyway, I’m going to take down four glasses as well! Because you’re right!
Holy shit, why didn’t I think of this‽‽‽
Dumbass.
Removed by mod
Just starting somewhere is the correct call (though I’d rephrase it as “Start anywhere”) but I wouldn’t call not doing it laziness
There’s a decision paralysis that’s really hard to overcome on where to start
I know it sounds silly, but it’s really a major hurdle
The more times you make it past the initial hurdle by “starting anywhere” the easier it becomes to get past that initial hurdle
I find breaking things into much smaller tasks helps a lot. I personally make actual physical lists so I can cross things out as I go because it’s more satisfying to cross things off and it’s easier to not get distracted.
For example: Cleaning my room is the major task but it’s too big and full of choices; cleaning 3d prining corner, organize shelf, vacuum, clean my desk, etc. I’m going to grab 1 minor task from it, cleaning my desk.
The minor task of “cleaning my desk” can be broken down further into so many sub-tasks; Put books back on shelf (this can be broken up as well due to how things are sorted and the variety on my desk), put dishes in sink (can lead to other minor tasks), sort mail into 2 piles, throw away junk mail, put important mail into filing cabinet, put tools back in toolbox, wipe down monitors, etc, etc.
Breaking tasks into smaller pieces makes those initial hurdles easier to overcome and also makes “starting anywhere” easier. Not to mention there’s the dopamine spike of completing those little tasks.
Also learning to accept that sometimes the major task you want to accomplish is too large for one day helps.
It’s hard (trust me I know) but it’s worth it in the long run to get practice doing it.
Yep. Getting motivated to do things is a skill like any other, it takes practice and effort.
Spitting facts right there
And damn has it taken awhile to get vaguely good at it
I know man. I’m nearly 40. At 20 I would have never guessed I could be motivated to do things beyond my immediate needs and wants. I honestly thought it was a character flaw that I was stuck with. Not that I’m perfect now, but the progress I’ve made is eeally a testament to how much I’ve grown up.
All through my 20s I thought everyone struggled with motivation like I did but after working on it for awhile and being medicated it’s like going from life at legendary difficulty to hard mode.
It’s so much easier, though I still wouldn’t call it easy.
Tell me you don’t understand the neurochemical mechanisms of ADHD without telling me you don’t understand the neurochemical mechanisms of ADHD
Removed by mod
Look, you’re obviously not just some random person who doesn’t understand how this shit works. You aren’t wrong. But you are being a monumental fucking asshole.
Maybe you’re one of the rare few where this sort of hard talk helped you, but for the overwhelming majority of people they aren’t going to get anything helpful to them from the way you’re posting.
If you wanted to gloat about how you’ve managed to get over this shit while bullying people who are still struggling, congrats you did it with aplomb.
If you were hoping to do literally anything else you’ve failed.
All you’re doing is coming in and declaring it a personal problem to suffer from chemical imbalances in the brain. This is the very first comment here that you’ve even touched on coping strategies or anything other than “lol, stop being lazy and just try you sack of shit”.
There absolutely is a lot of learned helplessness in ADHD and other neurodivergent communities online, and an increasing trend of it in online spaces in general. It bothers the hell out of me too.
This is absolutely not the fucking way to respond to it.
I’d posit that a lot of your abuse here is just externalizing your own negative self talk. Be better to others and to yourself, you festering dickhead.
You’re not wrong. That guy was being a dick and he also had some good points. The two aren’t mutually exclusive and more people need to learn that being blunt isn’t the same thing as being incorrect. People shouldn’t be required to predict how you will respond when they’re making a point. Granted, it’s certainly easier to be convincing when you’re not alienating your audience by the way you structure your argument but sometimes, especially on the internet, it’s much easier to jump right to the point than to spend the time listing out all the potential caveats to what you’re saying. It’s just as easy to make an attempt to understand the overall point as it is to choose to get hung up on the way something is worded. People just choose the latter because it makes dismissing the point being made easier.
Honestly though the most interesting thing about this thread is that his comments got removed and all the comments telling him to go fuck himself are still up. That seems like inconsistent moderation to me. Either let people speak their mind or encourage civil discourse evenly.
“you festering dick head”
Hahahaha, oh, evoking some Monty Python! I need to go get some of their wonderful insults to use around here.
One I do recall (that seems appropriate to that commenter) : “shut your festering gob, you tit!” hahahaha
That’s all impossible without help or a support group, it’s great you have it, not everyone else is as lucky.
You’re a piece of shit who doesn’t understand this disorder or are just lying about having it.
Either way you’re a piece of work and I hope 50 other people tell you before this gets moderated. Get a fucking life you loser.
While I personally do find a level of success starting something - after starting, continuing is much easier - that doesn’t mean that the difficulty I have with starting things is laziness.
Also, fuck you.