Once when I was an intern, I was in line to buy lunch with one of the other interns and we were griping about our hell stack, which consisted of the bloated corpse of a Django monolith and an also-bloated Java app that was intended to replace it but didn’t so both ended up doing the same thing but for different sets of data and in different ways.

The Java app had been more on fire that week, so we were complaining about it more, and referencing it as “the Java app” to distinguish it from the other.

Some skinny hipster in line behind us, without even looking up from his phone, gives us the unsolicited advice of “You should write it in Haskell, it’s better.”

And that’s all I know about monads, and all I care to know.