just because a random chick “takes a liking to you” does NOT mean you should hook up. Sex leads to feelings and connection, and you did that before finding out how crazy she was. Never do that. Always take at least a couple months of getting to know someone before you have sex. that will filter out a lot of problems before they even begin.
dont’ over think it. Sex is important in a relationship and if one person isn’t willing to do that with you, its a major problem and must be dealt with. I’m similar age as you and my wife and i have sex all the time with very few problems if any. yes, sometimes we wait because one of us is sick, or on a period, but generally right after that, we get right back to it without much delay.
you’re situation isn’t normal, don’t gaslight yourself into thinking it is. you’re a human being with needs. you don’t have to “suppress” anything. now that being said, yea if you are a sex addict and watching porn all the time and asking your wife to do things she doesn’t want to do, yea, thats not good. but if you’re being genuine and just wanting to have some sex, and she is stonewalling you, its either time to separate, or find a compromise.