I saw this post and sent it to some friends, then wrote them a quick encounter beginning for funsies that I figured I would share here.

“As you enter the recently harvested field you see movement, and suddenly a cascading warbling gobbling begins, choral at times, with harmonies spilling into cacophony that makes you think you’re going mad. A male turkey with five heads rivaling the size of dragons you’ve heard of in song steps into the field from the trees on the opposite side. You can tell that it has already spotted you by the way its heads take turns spastically turning sideways to better see you, and it scratches at the dirt with one of its four talons and ruffles its feathers to appear even larger. The gobbling starts again, more voices joining the fray far beyond the heads you can count, and the creature’s eyes glow red as the call digs into your brains.

It sets itself to charge at you across the field. Roll for initiative.”

Is it? Because I’m a transwoman and my levels are all within cis woman ranges for going on a decade now, yet I’m basically full-time Chandra, Awakened Inferno unless it’s subzero temps outside.

Ye cannot get ye flask.