You have to put a quarter in the ambulance before it will drive you to the hospital

This is the funniest shit I’ve seen on here in a long time

I appreciate how chill the handyman is about the whole situation

Lol 2016 strategy vibes

Terms of enrampagement

I host an ever growing system in the cloud. Everything you build needs to be maintained and monitored, and the more users you have, the more features they demand.

You can still spread cost out across more users, but it’s not like the software is just “done” and sits there being used

I understand. It was a joke poking fun at those who really think that way. Thank you for helping people.

Have you tried not being poor?

No, no, like this:

// Well, fuck.

Yup I live across the street from a K-8 school. It floors me how the parents of these kids drive like maniacs right by the school where their own child and all their classmates go to school. If there where ANYwhere you’d think a parent of a young child would slow the fuck down it’d be by their kids school.

The best Git Commit message I’ve ever seen was for like 35 files and a few hundred lines and it just said “Please work”

I did something like this once. I was meeting a friend at a bar and she was with another guy I never met. I had just moved back to the US from Germany, so she introduced me and said “he just moved here from Germany,” not realizing that it wasn’t clear I was American. So he starts asking me how I like it here etc, and I threw on a German accent and went with it (I speak some German too). I pretended that my English was a bit rough but could get by.

We hung out for like two hours and then when I got ready to leave I dropped the accent and said in my normal Midwestern American voice “Ok cool to hang with you bro imma head out,” and left.

For those who haven’t seen

Women are so we are going back home now to see what happens in a little while but we are you and I are on our side and the other one of us will have a great day and I am not a good one of those 7.

Ah cool, I was at the park with my kid Tuesday evening and saw this fly over us. We figured Kamala was in there but nice to have confirmation

Aw but that sucks if you get pregnant in August or September

I found people went one of two ways. I know plenty of people who drank more, but also plenty of people (myself included) who basically went cold turkey for two years. I don’t enjoy drinking by myself so I didn’t

I do this too. Then I discovered spindrifts and find them fucking delicious, so I started making my own spindrift at home by squeezing fresh lemons or limes into a cup before filling with homemade soda water.

I haven’t actually done the math but I think this system is more economical than bulk-buying cans of spindrift

Buddy, I’ve been posting things I find on Lemmy for 2+ years. It’s all I post and I still haven’t made a repost so I doubt it’s happening.

Less cops

Fewer racism

Very better society

Wow!