I use passphrases for frequently used logins and randomly-generated passwords of varying lengths for everything else. I also use a hardware key and/or 2FA for everything that allows it.
I’m conversationally fluent in a few different languages (enough to order food, greet people and ask directions to the shitter, anyway) and I can swear in another half-dozen languages so I tend to mix’n’match my passphrases with different foreign words. Bonus points for accented characters. That’s probably not gonna fool a dictionary-based attack but since I live in a (mostly) English-speaking country, it might make it interesting for the English-only speakers to try guessing.
At work, we’re held to the outdated policy set by the IT department so it can be difficult to be creative. On top of that, they force a password change whenever someone sneezes so I see a lot of sticky notes on monitors and under keyboards.
Edit: spelling and grammar.
Hopefully, I’m not too late. What you’re going through sucks and there’s some really valid advice in some of the other comments. I urge you to take the time to read through them and consider them. I’d like to come at it from a different perspective.
Be a selfish asshole: take care of yourself first, take care of the people and things that are important to you next. Fuck everyone and everything else! The world belongs to you as much as anyone else. You’re here. You matter. Don’t let other circumstances or people take that away from you.
I could tell you to think about your family, your friends, your pets…all the people who would miss you if you follow through on this. Those are important considerations but at the end-of-the-day, those are secondhand things. You are the center! You get to define your own worth and don’t let anyone tell you differently. If someone tells you that you’re not worth it, tell them they’re full of shit. Then walk away.
Sometimes life can be a struggle. Other times, it just plain sucks. But it’s your life. You get to choose how you deal with the bad stuff. I’m hoping you choose to live and fight on. Read the other comments. Most (all?) of us have been in dark places at some point but we’re still here. You can be too.