• Dragon Rider (drag)@lemmy.nzOP
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    5
    arrow-down
    9
    ·
    4 days ago

    Drag would feel respected in drag’s gender identity if you used drag’s preferred second person pronouns, yes. But you don’t have to.

    • thedirtyknapkin@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      edit-2
      3 days ago

      I’ll try, i don’t want to be disrespectful and I’m sorry if my tone has been a bit heavy.

      can drag try to help me understand why drag feels that way? why don’t first person pronouns work for drag.

      and man, it’s hard to avoid words that one uses through habit without thinking. I’ve had to edit this like five times to catch all of the “you’s”. it’s just not a layer of consciousness in my brain. i have to kind of break my brain to stop saying “you”. it feels like having to avoid saying “the”

      • Dragon Rider (drag)@lemmy.nzOP
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        arrow-down
        9
        ·
        3 days ago

        First person pronouns work just fine for drag. Drag is a first person pronoun, and also a second and third person pronoun. That’s what person-independent means.

        Drag likes it because it acknowledges drag’s identity as a dragon rider. Drag originally wanted to go with xi/drag person independent pronouns, which inflected differently depending on subject or object construction. But people confused drag for the Chinese president. So drag dropped the xi pronouns. A lot of people have complained they don’t like the drag pronouns, but most of them are reacting better than the first idea. Xi was a more traditional sounding subject form pronoun and people liked it even less.

        • thedirtyknapkin@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          10
          ·
          edit-2
          3 days ago

          that’s a lot of effort to ask of someone just because you like it. it feels like khaleesi requiring people to use her full title all the time. you and i are just a standard part of language that don’t diminish what one is. i am no less my name and my identity because i use i and me. those words just exist to make speaking easier and less clunky. and as i mentioned before, they’re such standard and thoughtless parts of language that it genuinely takes a lot of effort to avoid them for just one person. so I’ll use drag instead of any gendered pronouns, but you is just part of the English language that you don’t have a good reason for me to put that effort into avoiding.

          so I’ll take you up on your former offer of not using drag instead of you. I won’t misgender you and call you something you’re not, but you’re still you. that’s not inaccurate. I’m not misidentifying you by saying that. I’m just not calling you you’re full title every time i speak. to me this is the same as not calling someone sir just because they think they deserve special treatment.