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“How many of your kids hate you?”
“One day a man invited him into a richly furnished house, saying ‘be careful not to spit on the floor.’ Diogenes, who needed to spit, spat in his face, exclaiming that it was the only dirty place he could find where spitting was permitted.”
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I would literally pretend I had absolutely no clue who he was or any familiarity with any of his “achievements” or why they’re “important”. It would be pretty funny to see him try to respond to that.
It’s-a Luigi Time!
Thunder!
“Please stop headbutting my fist”
You’ve gone from being perceived as an inspiring intelligent neurodiverse outsider, to an evil good for nothing oligarch. Can you imagine what the impact would be if you would announce tomorrow, that you would give all or most of your shares to the employees that work for your companies, and you would state to the world that having (hecto)billionaires is dangerous and immoral, and that being one you experienced first hand that it is psychologically harmful, that you lost sense of who you were, but now want to return to your innocence.
I would ask him who he is. Then when he gets upset that I don’t recognize him and he gives me his name I say “hmmm, never heard of you.”
Watch is ego implode.
“Musk? Like the supermarket grade perfume? Did you know musk comes from glandular secretions? The word comes from ‘testicle’ because the gland looks like a scrotum.” Give a couple of sniffs… “Oh wow, that’s amazing!”
“You look like a guy I saw in an episode of Rick and Morty” Smile “Elon Tusk?” “No Mr Poopy Butthole”
No this can’t be right, Mr poopy butthole is a good and likable character.
I’d ask him how his values were so easily changed by a comedian and his roving troupe of rude boys.
Musk: They weren’t, I just stopped lying about them.
With his fragile ego, I’d spend the entire time asking if he could smell that awful smell. I’d ask him to check the bottoms of his shoes, drawing more and more attention and increasing his discomfort, all the while pretending that I’ve never heard of Elon Musk.
Putting this tactic in my back pocket for uncomfortable social interactions.
The only way to survive uncomfortable social interactions is to become one with them.
The only way to survive uncomfortable social interactions is to become one of them.
“That’s okay, I forget to brush my teeth some mornings as well.”
Show him this picture and just ask “Why?”.
“Matrix”
hey look its welfare guy.
“Can I have a dollar?”
If he says yes, and give me a dollar, I’d wait for him to put his wallet away and then ask,
“Can I have another dollar?”
And then do this on repeat until he stops.
“No sorry, I only carry hundred dollar notes with me.”
I’d slap him. I don’t fucking care, I’m dying from societal neglect and welfare failings and like literally 0.00001% of his wealth could fix all my problems, you have to be inherently selfish to hoard all that wealth (not to mention be inherently evil to get it in the first place).
(this is a joke, I wouldn’t put it past Musk for suing for verbal assault or something)
fuck being sued this country needs a story like that in the news
How can you slap?!
But first you gotta ask him “does your mother sew?”
“Bet you can’t end world hunger”
“Excuse me?”
“So, Bezos was right?”
“Now listen here you little shit…”
