Been meditating for years, and it took me a long time to realize that excitement is not happiness. But closer to what Buddhism calls restlessness and worry. And it tends to cycle with sloth and torpor in a pattern very similar to what we call bipolar.
Manic episodes, for me, are when the excitement keeps going without any rest. Exhaustion occurs. And delirium sets in.
I don’t find any of these states pleasurable (i.e. euphoric). Joy is what I equate closest to euphoria. An overflowing abundance of positive feelings shared with others. I imagine if we got worried or restless hanging onto that positive feeling, it could play a role in the cycle though.
Happiness is calm, restful. A lack of restlessness, anger, sloth and torpor, etc. Contentedness is a synonym for happy.
Anger/Desire, are, at base, aversion and attachment. If I’m attached to joy or angry at my depression, those are additional factors that keep us caught in the cycle.
I want to add, I like your two axis formulation and wish I would have started with that in my first reply to your post. I just put happiness more in the calm eye of the storm, with Restlessness at the top, Depression at the bottom, and Anger and Desire at the left and right. When I’m relatively happy, small amounts of these energies can come and go without me being caught in them (feeling a little down without being depressed, feeling a little excited without being manic, etc.) If I’m unhappy, I can end up oscillating rapidly between poles, or settling at one extreme or the other.
I think this cycle isn’t well understood in the West, especially in regard to anger and desire, which are thought of as more masculine energies and thus are less pathologized. But the multi-axis formulation you posted is very similar to my experience and can help to clarify how some states can oscillate between extreme poles.
I hope you continue to refine your personal understanding and sharing it with others :) It is an excellent insight, and again I wish I would have started off by saying so.
How was I being a puritan? I used language throughout that demonstrated I was speaking from my own experience and sharing my own understanding.
All language points at people’s real experiences and understanding. And how I define a word, such as excitement and happiness, affects my understanding of what is possible. I thought they were synonyms for many years, growing up in a consumer capitalist culture, it’s kinda what I was fed by advertising and my environment. Eventually, I learned to delineate them. And found, in my own experience, they’re not the same.
If you use different words and have a different understanding of your lived experience, more power to you.
Been meditating for years, and it took me a long time to realize that excitement is not happiness. But closer to what Buddhism calls restlessness and worry. And it tends to cycle with sloth and torpor in a pattern very similar to what we call bipolar.
Manic episodes, for me, are when the excitement keeps going without any rest. Exhaustion occurs. And delirium sets in.
I don’t find any of these states pleasurable (i.e. euphoric). Joy is what I equate closest to euphoria. An overflowing abundance of positive feelings shared with others. I imagine if we got worried or restless hanging onto that positive feeling, it could play a role in the cycle though.
Happiness is calm, restful. A lack of restlessness, anger, sloth and torpor, etc. Contentedness is a synonym for happy.
Anger/Desire, are, at base, aversion and attachment. If I’m attached to joy or angry at my depression, those are additional factors that keep us caught in the cycle.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_hindrances
Oh god eastern religions have puritans too? jk, glad to hear you’re doing well.
I saw your edit. Thanks for the well wishing.
I want to add, I like your two axis formulation and wish I would have started with that in my first reply to your post. I just put happiness more in the calm eye of the storm, with Restlessness at the top, Depression at the bottom, and Anger and Desire at the left and right. When I’m relatively happy, small amounts of these energies can come and go without me being caught in them (feeling a little down without being depressed, feeling a little excited without being manic, etc.) If I’m unhappy, I can end up oscillating rapidly between poles, or settling at one extreme or the other.
I think this cycle isn’t well understood in the West, especially in regard to anger and desire, which are thought of as more masculine energies and thus are less pathologized. But the multi-axis formulation you posted is very similar to my experience and can help to clarify how some states can oscillate between extreme poles.
I hope you continue to refine your personal understanding and sharing it with others :) It is an excellent insight, and again I wish I would have started off by saying so.
How was I being a puritan? I used language throughout that demonstrated I was speaking from my own experience and sharing my own understanding.
All language points at people’s real experiences and understanding. And how I define a word, such as excitement and happiness, affects my understanding of what is possible. I thought they were synonyms for many years, growing up in a consumer capitalist culture, it’s kinda what I was fed by advertising and my environment. Eventually, I learned to delineate them. And found, in my own experience, they’re not the same.
If you use different words and have a different understanding of your lived experience, more power to you.