I’ve been on a medical LOA since last year and tomorrow I go back to work and I keep thinking about how almost all my coworkers I knew are gone and processes have changed. Also that if I do something wrong I might injure myself again and be right back where I was a year ago (I have been cleared for full job duties by my doctor).
The point of my existence, or more specifically, why I keep writing my odd thoughts on here or back then on Reddit, when I‘m already aware of how useless it all is. I‘ve been reading various books on this and the more I read, the less significance I see in it. Yet, here I am, again writing something. I suppose it‘s some sort of distraction or sublimation for me.
Do you find comfort in the insignificance?
No, I wouldn‘t say I‘m comforted by much these days, though I‘ve read a book called Sunny Nihilist and Camus of course too, to try and approach it from this perspective, but I couldn‘t quite adopt it for myself as an effective coping mechanism.
Yeah same. I find it helps me with anxiety when some of my life’s problems start feeling overwhelming. But if I’m in a depressive state it seems to mostly sap away motivation.
Interesting, now that you said that, I notice it‘s similar for me. I haven‘t had any of my work related anxiety since this years long existential crisis started, probably because for that it really does help.
Unearthed some other more concerning thoughts though. Maybe that is also part of why I keep coming back to social media, it’s nice to get various insights like this. Thank you.
Happy to help. Thank you for the conversation too.