• lennivelkant@discuss.tchncs.de
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    28 days ago

    I want women to have things we’re doing.

    Whatever just something it wouldn’t feel strange to have men doing.

    Maybe that’s a thing many men - myself included, I suppose - don’t fully understand: It’s not about giving women a space of their own too, but about sharing “ours” that never should have been just ours in the first place; about being a part instead of apart. Does that sound right?

    I’ll be frank, I’m still deprogramming a lot of preconceptions that I just took for granted growing up. It’s weird and somewhat concerning how I consider myself progressive, but every now and then still find these blind spots and biases. It shows just how deep these things can run.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      28 days ago

      I think it’s partly that. Like I generally am ok with men and women having spaces separate when they’re small and inconsequential. In fact I run a women’s group and have told men in my community that a counterpart group would probably be good for some of the guys, but historically it’s often been a way to push rigid gender roles that wind up with women’s contributions less respected and less powerful.

      But when it comes to games and stories my litmus test is are women able to do cool things without being tokenized or used mostly in a way that feels misogynistic.

      And the rough thing about feminism is that that’s such a common struggle. Patriarchy is not just some outside force. We all grew up in a society that had unjust and gendered expectations and assumptions and we’re taking up the task of untying this gordian knot. The goal as I see it is for gender to become merely a trait rather than a class and if I’m honest that still feels radical and I know I’m probably on my way from a young agitating feminist towards an older woman who has to push to stick with the times. And that’s the struggle all forms of people trying to improve the world face.

      Sorry if that last paragraph was off, it was an interesting thought to spend a break with