CLEVELAND—Lacking a North Star to guide him through his workday, local office worker Evan Pullman was reportedly lost like a sailor in a maelstrom Tuesday after the human resources department at Edgemere Industries failed to send out the company’s quarterly update. “Dear God! Without an email newsletter recapping our…
Quarterly? Weekly more like.
“This week we’re taking your workflow and completely changing it because we felt like it. Please keep the same productivity even though we added 20 unnecessary steps and 12 redundant steps.”
“This week insert managerial circle-jerking recap that has nothing to do with the day to day operation”
“This week we, as management, scheduled back to back meetings with each other about what meetings we’d have in order to plan how we will strategize future company changes. This makes us feel valuable and productive and justify making a magnitude more money than you. Thanks for your hard work!”
Or different managers in the company each send a weekly newsletter to all employees. Additional to the Did-you-see-this-shit-on-our-comporate-social-media-platform mails, for which I don’t know any colleague, that actually reads them.