I go with my gf to her grandmas lake house every year, and while its relaxing and fun, I absolutely notice a change in her demeanor, I find I have to walk on eggshells around her and every other thing I say or do seems to be wrong and warrants nagging. I have confronted her about this but she seems to deny any change in behaviour is happening and just retorts with “well I told you xxx!”

Obviously her family is stressing her out but it kills me that she won’t acknowledge that, especially since I’m such a straightforward person who likes to discuss what’s going on. And that shes such a family girl on top of that. I’m planning on marrying her but i m just not sure how to discuss this particular point of contention with her first, because it’s one of the few things she’ll get actually defensive about

  • lurch (he/him)@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    5 months ago

    i suggest you get her permission to record some video or audio of your stay, so you can later show her in private what you found weird. afterwards, when she returned to normal and a situation comes up in which she behaves differently, you can point that out and refer to the recording for comparison, so it’s undeniable and you both can find out what made her behave differently.

    be aware that there may be something at work, which nobody will ever fully understand, e.g. pheromones.

    • yokonzo@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      5 months ago

      To be fair I think I explained that poorly, its not like she will never admit wrong, I just think that since I’m so forward I sometimes catch her off guard and she can’t help but be defensive in the moment