• Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    You could even say it is a sign of a “chubby chaser”. Likewise for transness.

    Yeah, if you’re deeply stupid. Or, as you suggested, so traumatized by life that you have no understanding of normal human interrepationships. Just because you are open to the idea of having sex with a fat person, that does not make you a chubby chaser. That’s not at all what that means.

    In your analogy, the proper response for the fat person would be “that makes me feel bad” and NOT “you are a bad person”. Take some ownership for your feelings. People are allowed to have sexual preferences. That is 100% normal. If it’s triggering for you, then it’s on you to manage your response, not lash out.

    Also, people are overly sensitive

    Understatement of the year. I think we need to acknowledge that some trans communities can get extremely toxic. Woe unto you if you get caught in their crosshairs for whatever reason. Sure, this may stem from trauma or transphobia/discrimination, but we shouldn’t pretend it’s not a thing.

    My pet theory is that trans people are excluded from so many groups that groups of trans people by necessity get very insular. And insular groups tend towards shittiness, almost universally.

    • Omniraptor@lemm.ee
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      3 days ago

      It’s not just being attracted, it’s being attracted conditional on the person having x characteristic (that they might not even want to have). That’s the very definition of fetishizing/objectifying and it’s not toxic to criticize it.

      I will grant that this is more of an issue for relationships than for hookups etc. As a wise woman once told me- chasers are gross, but they also help pay her rent, so really it’s impossible to say if they’re bad or not.

      • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        It’s not just being attracted, it’s being attracted conditional on the person having x characteristic

        Wait

        So literally every single heterosexual or homosexual person is a “chaser”??

        • Omniraptor@lemm.ee
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          3 days ago

          Potentially yes, they can exhibit similar patterns. In fact lots of cishet women have also complained about being objectified because their (potential) dating partner is attracted not to the whole package but to a specific part of them- it’s a classic feminist talking point. The “chaser” label gets added when the person being objectified is marked as deviant in some way. But it’s def not just cishet men who are capable of it.