I hate pubs. I hate bars. All the people, loud music and other overstimulations make my brain go crazy… but most of my friends want to go to bars. Its seems like they are enjoying themselves… any tips to either get better att handeling sutch situations in fututure so i wont be as much of a antisosial outsider?

Cheers

  • UnendingQuest@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I somewhere along the way I came to identify as a ‘music scene’ person and do genuinely like live music during the part where the music envelopes me and makes it impossible to perceive the “noisy bar” surroundings. I’ve also always used substances as coping mechanisms - constantly drinking, immediately running out for cigarettes between sets to avoid awkward, unintelligible conversation. Now that I’ve learned how my brain works, I’ve started the “unmasking process” and am realizing that I actually feel so mentally exhausted after a night out at a bar and so drained by hanging out with drunk people who make no sense to me. I started not drinking and asking myself during and after events: am I having fun if I separate my experience from the way people around me seem to feel? Is this something I’m genuinely enjoying on the whole? I haven’t been back to a bar since and am still trying to figure out how to go enjoy live music without needing to drink or being overwhelmed by the social / sensory surroundings in between sets.