Day one of Donald Trump's first criminal trial!

(Trump lawyer Alina Habba — the one who fakes smart — argued on Fox News last night that this is a denial of Trump’s “due process” rights. Needless to say, LOL no. Habba also bellyached that Trump’s lawyers won’t get Passover off, because “Observant Jews have a right to go and pray to who they want and observe Passover!” You know, whoever those Jewish people pray to. Also, the trial is off for four days of Passover, so Habba is lying.)

. . . “Forcing Trump to skip his son’s graduation is actually an act of evil. There’s simply no other word for it. It’s evil,” whined weird MAGA anal fissure Jack Posobiec, lying. “Pure evil,” hissed Trump junior, his saliva presumably collecting in his cheeks, covered in sweat. “Judge Merchan is truly heartless in not letting a father attend his son’s graduation,” said Eric, not specifying which son.

“I was looking forward to that graduation, with his mother and father there, and it looks like the judge does not allow me to escape this scam,” said Trump outside the courtroom, lying.

Every babbling pigfuck in MAGA world is screaming about this, and it simply isn’t true. Kari Lake, doing an impression of a human with a soul, tweeted, “I am heartbroken for President Trump & Barron. All the hard work our kids put into graduating, & President Trump is being robbed of getting to experience his son’s High School graduation ceremony. This corrupt judge is heartless & cruel.”

Senator Mike Lee, one of the least serious members of Congress by any metric, tweeted, “Telling Trump he can’t attend Barron’s graduation goes beyond mere jackassery. This is deliberately cruel.”

. . . MeidasTouch has a good rundown of the ticktock of the goings-on what happened in the courtoom yesterday: the tiny handful of weak and sad Laura Loomers who showed up to protest on Trump’s behalf; the beginning of jury selection; questions about what will happen to Trump when he violates his gag orders; all kinds of evidence that will and will not be allowed. (A bunch of the tapes you’d think a jury might like to hear — grab ‘em by the pussy, the E. Jean Carroll deposition, etc. — Merchan ruled too prejudicial. You know, because he’s SO UNFAIR.)

Trump apparently did not like it when he was sworn in as “MISTER Donald Trump.”

And more!

  • Optional@lemmy.worldOP
    312·
    3 months ago

    Trump begged PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE can he have the day off from crime trial in May so he can attend the graduation of his beloved son what’s-his-name, no not Junior, no not Eric, the one what came out of Melania’s vagina while he was busy fucking a different porn lady he arranged payoffs for during the 2016 campaign?

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE? Merchan said that May 17 is a long way away, and we’ll see. (Likely part of it is that we’ll see if Trump conducts himself like a good criminal defendant or if he acts like a gag-order-defying, court-disrupting hellion piece of shit. That could factor.)

    . . . REAL TALK: If Donald Trump could tell America five things about Barron Trump that involve personal knowledge of the child — like maybe what music he likes to listen to, or who he has a crush on, a food he craves, anything, we might just keel over from shock. He doesn’t give a flying fuck about going to that graduation, and if he didn’t have court that day, he’d spend it waddling around a golf course, lying and saying he won another tournament.

    lol. Wonkette is great. Go give them money.