Because young men exist, and study after study has shown that positive role models who look like the group in question have an outsized effect as compared to those from a different group. It’s a matter of how easily a young person can imagine themselves as that other person.

Right, and no one’s arguing that they can’t have men as role models.

I don’t mean to argue against the degenderization of stereotypical behaviors and traits, and I’ve had plenty of role models who run the gamut of identities. But where is the inherent value in dismissing an identifier?

The first statement leads to the second because again, if we degenderize stereotypical behaviors, then the label doesn’t actually make sense.

We come to know ourselves through the similarities and differences we observe - what is gained if we think of one as inherently toxic?

No one here is labeling masculinity as inherently toxic. Just that it’s a label defined by arbitrary cultural norms that are subject to change with a bunch of characteristics that are actually gender neutral (this is also the case for femininity).

How much is lost if we abdicate our responsibility and allow regressive voices to offer the only definitions?

I would say that if we have the cultural presence to project this kind of influence, that we should instead strive to move people away from this kind of thinking due to the above.

This is where my beef is. It’s active dismissal of people for whom “masculine” is an identifier. This is an argument that there is no space for positive masculinity in social equity. If the goal is to destigmatize people being who they are, why are we choosing to stigmatize a subset of those people?

I wouldn’t say that this is stigmatizing anyone for being what is typically called positive masculine, nor does it exclude such men. It just calls for a small change in identity to one that makes more sense.

I was hit for having emotions as a child. When my grandmother died, I was terrified of showing how sad I was because it would have meant a beating. I was terrified of acknowledging my female role models, terrified of the fact that I had them.

I’m sorry to hear that your childhood was abusive and I’m glad to see that you’ve since been able to embrace your true self; it can be a very difficult journey and I’m always happy to see people overcome their hardships for the better.

I’d have loved to have a positive male role model! One who embodied the kinds of prosocial gender neutral behaviors that would have let me know I wasn’t a complete outsider.

Men like Terry Crews (whom I would consider a positive male role model) don’t stop existing just because we laud them for their courage, bravery, and strength instead of their masculinity.