I know the question is a bit vague, but I’m hoping people will interpret this however they see fit an give their own experiences.
To be honest, I’m struggling a bit with this right now and would enjoy reading others’ experiences.
Every morning, without exception, I get up, I make myself a cup of coffee, and I go for a walk nice and early. If it’s sunny and beautiful, I go for a walk. If it’s cloudy and gray, I go for a walk. If it’s pouring out, I grab my jacket and an umbrella, and I go for a walk. I usually walk over to the park nearby. It has a jogging trail on it, and there is a spot with pullup bars. Every time I pass the bars, I do a few pullups.
I started doing all this for physical health, just to ensure I don’t get sedentary. But I kept doing it because it’s time in my own head with nothing from home or work to distract me. I sometimes have headphones in to listen to music, but usually not. Usually, it’s just me and the outdoors, and an opportunity to really, really think. It’s good for my mental health.
Other things that help:
- I check in with my loved ones, just so they know how I’m doing and I know how they’re doing. And if something is wrong, I tell them.
- Every time I go into the kitchen, for any reason, I try to leave it more clean than when I started. If I’m grabbing a snack, and there’s a dirty dish in the sink, I rinse it and put it in the dishwasher. It’s amazing how much just having a clean kitchen improves my sense of well-being.
- Sometimes I’m sad. Sometimes it’s enough that I cry. That’s okay.
A lot of this sounds like things to do just to not be depressed, but it’s really much more than that! Taking care of these aspects of my mental health ensures that when fun and joy and entertainment and laughter present themselves, I’m in a good frame of mind to accept them.
Take care of yourself. Happiness isn’t something you can force, but it is something you can make room for.
This is seriously so comforting to read.
I’m glad to hear that, and hope it does you some real good.
I recently started going for walks again after dark. There’s something about the residual summer heat, the darkness, and the quiet that just connects with me. On occasion I’ll even go bare foot and it can really intensify that feeling of being connected to the world around me.
I would highly recommend it to anyone.
It’s wonderful in autumn when the mists rise in the evening.
Being grateful every day for something, even small.
i survive
this is how
i pet the cat
she say, “meow”she says, “meow”
why does she?
I don’t know
maybe she loves me
Listen to and read science fiction books. Preferably in the bath tub. I don’t think there is anything more comfortable for me than that.
How do you not get the pages wet??
Keep the book above the water.
By listening to it on an audiobook with a speaker. I don’t bring paper into the bath. 😅
Waterproof e-reader
If you’re stuck in your head get out of your head.
That is to say, if your thoughts are getting to you, you’re in you’re head. You need to do something that takes you out of your thoughts. What does that mean?
It means engage your senses, deliberately. Focus on your senses.
Huh?
Go for a walk in a park, go get some fancy cheese, listen to some good music, take a hot shower, and watch a new TV show, pick up a hobby.
Get your brain doing stuff it doesn’t do. You’ll build connections in your brain that will help take you out of your tunnel vision/ruminations.
My wife and my dogs. Would do anything for them. I pried a large dog’s mouth off of my dog’s throat earlier this year. I knew I was going to get bit, I know I’m dumb, and I’d do it again in a second for him.
At first, all my might couldn’t overpwer him. Once my hands got crunched, that’s when I went into fight or flight and pried it’s mouth open like it was nothing. He had at least a 500+ pound bite force, given his size. I couldn’t believe the strength that surge of adrenaline gave me…
Once I pried the dog’s mouth open, I shouted to my dog to release the other dog’s lip (which he peirced) and he did release, then I sort of suplexed this big dog to get them separated.
My hands had decent injuries and I had a lot of superficial gouges from claws/teeth or whatever. It happened so fast it was hard to tell what really got me. It felt like jumping into a cartoon dust cloud brawl…
Most painful part was them rinsing out my middle finger that got caught between the canines and fractured and torn up. When that cold saline shot out of a turkey baster-sized syringe into my wounds reached the bone, it felt like a toothache in my finger…
When I was in the ER, I asked the doctor stitching up my wounds (only one stitch in each because they were dog bites) how often they get dog bites, and then immediately followed up asking about human bites. He paused for a second and then said “We get at least one dog bite a day, one human bite a week.” That is at just one of 3 major hospitals in this Midwest city!
Man I’m too stoned and I’ve gone on such a tangent… My wife and my dogs are just always there when I’ve been at my lowest. The unconditional love of a dog has gotten me thru some of the darkest periods in my life. I love my dogs as much as a human family member.
I came here for tips to be happy but I still enjoyed your tangent dog story. I hope your dog is okay!
Yep, he’s doing great! I intervened quick enough that his injuries were just superficial. I was the only one in the mix who really got injured. Tho we’ve all got some new scars now. My dog and I both ended up with scars near our right eye, which is darkly amusing to me. The whole ordeal was hardest for my wife. I’m not fazed much by situations like that, and my dog didn’t seem too bothered by it either.
I’ve found that it’s easier to avoid misery than it is to find joy. Some tips given here reflect that as well. Cut off toxic people from your life. Don’t dwell on tiny things for the full day.
I have an example. I went to get some coffee yesterday. There was a man in front of barista counter. The barista asked me for my order, and my instinct was to ask if the man next to me had been served. I didn’t think twice about it. She got visibly upset at me for having the audacity to ask him. She took my order but she continued to mumble audibly about how she gave eye contact, and she knew how to do her job, etc. As if my remark towards the man belittled her experience and skills.
She had no idea what my intent was, but she assumed the worst. For doing so, she ruined her own day with it. It’s all about perspective.
She also ruined my coffee but I didn’t let that ruin my day either haha.
I try to learn a little something each day, even if it’s as “simple” as how to pronounce a word or name. It’s a good way to try to get out of my head (as mentioned in another comment) and a means to keep myself humble.
There’s just so much I don’t know, and each little thing I try to learn is a good reminder of that and how much more there is to learn.
I focus on my daughter. Just the fact that there is so much new and fresh and amazing for her helps me see the world through a new lens a little bit.
Same, my boy is not even one week old… So much joy.
Biggest change in my life and I’m happy I have 6 weeks off to take care of him… I’m going to spend every minute I can holding him and being there for every small or big need he has…
I thought I was ready and then I had growing doubts the closer we were to the date but turns out I was ready and I’m so lucky…
Signed up to a self defense class which keeps me phisically active (unlike a gym that I can skip, the classes help me feel obligated to go) Eating healthy (more veggies, less sugary, oily or snacky foods) Long walks in nature (moves out of the city to live closed to an open field) Found a new hobby. And one that some might find weird - talking to myself out loud, just going through my thoughts and feelings this way helps me verbelise my feelings better, it really shows you how many toughts and feelings are actually much more complex then you think since you just don’t notice it until you have to put it into words.
read books, play games, watch tv, walk the dog, love my wife, sleep
I like to create things. For me, its a nice feedback loop of positive feeling throughout the process.
I get to learn new skills in order to complete the thing I’m trying to make. At the end of the day, I get to feel good that I learned something new.
I get to work with my hands and throughout the process, I get to see the progress I have made. At the end of the week, I get to hold the thing as its coming along and feel good about the progress I’m making.
At the end of the month / few months when I’m done with the build, I get to feel accomplished as I have overcome the challenges along the way, and I have a finished “thing”
For the foreseeable time after, each time I use the thing I made, I get a little boost of positivity, because I get to think to myself “yeah! I made this!”
It also allows me to be social by sharing the thing I have made with other makers online, or I can help them with their projects by sharing knowledge I have accumulated.
Taking naps with our dog and hearing and feeling her peaceful breathing as she sleeps on my pillow with her snoot snuzzled against my face or ear.
I have aphantasia so one of my techniques for generating happiness while sad might be more effective for you than me… but if I’m feeling really sad, I try to imagine a kitten, riding a puppy, riding a baby goat, riding a baby hippo, riding a baby elephant. Baby animals are always cute and funny, the idea of them all balancing atop each other is ridiculous enough to make me at least crack a smile.
Usually the first step out of sadness or depression is like cracking a door open to reveal a shard of light. We have muscle memory linked to our smile muscles, so whether we feel like smiling or not, finding a way to crack one releases feelgood endorphins.
Then we can take another step towards being happier; exercise, tidying / cleaning our home, going for a walk, getting a task out of the way which we’ve been avoiding.
If you’ve never used Audible before, you can sign up for a free trial and keep one book forever; I highly recommend anyone struggling atm use this to get ‘Derren Brown - Happy’. The guy is almost literally a mind wizard, the first few chapters explain common self-help fallacies and why they’re not effective… iirc chapter 6 / 7 is when he starts introducing a toolkit to increase happiness. It changed my brain though, and I’ve listened to it several times now. Lots of very useful mental strategies and philosophical tools.
I meditate for 20 mins every day
@curious_illusions I’m working my way up to 20 minutes. It’s been great and really opened a part of my life up.
That’s awesome, hope everything goes well.