As a human, I think it is okay to eat people. Humans are currently overpopulating our planet and have completely taken over. We don’t need that many humans. As a human, I may be very silly and cute, but when my species gets together to do something, we tend to make a big mess of it and just ruin everything. So we must reduce our population one way or another. Additionally, imagine how much meat one of us might have on our bones? Perhaps not as much as a cow, but when there are billions of us then that’s like, billions of pounds of meat! Wow! You like meat right? I know I do. That’s a lot of meat and it’s just right there. I know that personally if any small dinosaurs came up to me and started chewing on my legs I’d let them do it. I don’t need all my meat, you know?

Go green, eat human. Mother nature will thank you!

Sincerely,

- a human

Edit: oh no! I have made the human mistake of accidently saying I like meat on a vegan community post. This was a mistake because vegans do not like meat. I do not understand this because humans eat meat like all superior species. I do not understand why a human would want to eat only plants like human prey animals. I am a human and I like human meat, as it should be.

Edit 2: you know what, fuck this, y’all are way too dense. In what reality do people talk the way I was? Congrats, y’all ruined it.

Edit 3: since you only want very serious answers here’s a serious answer: the problem with human meat has less to do with morals or ethics and more to do with health and safety. Because you are a human, eating human meat, you can contract whatever diseases the human had before death if the meat is undercooked.

Additionally, there are a lot of parasites, like the lowly tapeworm, which are “”“safe”“” when a human consumes tainted animal meat; because the tapeworm thinks it’s in a human and is content to hangout in your intestines. However, if you consume tapeworm eggs that were laid by a “human” tapeworm, the tapeworms that hatch will think they’re in a pig and will have no issues burrowing through your muscles, internal organs and brain.

Another factor is that you are what you eat. There is a reason why humans typically don’t eat other predators like lions or tigers, and that’s because toxins like heavy metals tend to bioaccumulate in them.

Finally, most importantly, for reasons beyond my weak understanding of medical science, humans carry a high risk of prion diseases. Unlike the issues of parasites and diseases, you can not cook a human well enough to eliminate prions and still eat it. The human would be nothing more than ash because you’d have to cook the meat at thousands of degrees to destroy any potential prions the human might have been carrying. These are not something you fuck with. You cannot cure a prion disease. If you have the misfortune of eating something that has been contaminated with a prion, and one of your cells decided to do something with said prion, the only solution is to put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye. You are now a dead man walking. You cannot be cured. A prion is not a virus. It is not a parasite, bacteria, or any form of fungus. It is simply a misfolded protein that your body thinks it can do something with. You will die. Your brain will look like swiss cheese. You will forget everyone you know and love, and there will be nothing you can do about it. Not only that, but again, for reasons beyond my understanding of medical science, your body will use that misfolded protein as a blueprint and will misfold other proteins to make them look like the prion. Your body will become a 3d printer for prions. Anyone who consumes your body will die.