i was in middle school and went to olive garden with my parents. the waiter had one of those voices that…you know, that men in the gay community normally have.

and so they had this soup on the menu i wanted called pasta fagioli that i wasn’t sure how to pronounce and also i had social anxiety

and it didn’t go well

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    1 year ago

    Hah. That reminds me of the time when I was a kid we went to a Chinese restaurant. We were from a rural area and visiting a city, so this did not happen too often. We get the menues, decide on what to order etc etc. The waitress comes over, takes our orders and recites them while writing them down. Thing is she has a really heavy accent and recites “fried shrimp with rice” as “flied slimp with lice”.

    My stepfather is trying to keep a straight face but just can’t hold it in. He’s squirming, red-faced, and tries to hide behind his menu while the waitress keeps reciting the orders. He then excuses himself to the restroom and you can hear him giggle all the way there, then full-out laugh in the echoes of the tile walls.

    It doesn’t end there though. During dinner we start discussing where to buy chopsticks (we’d never seen them in stores and internet shopping wasn’t a thing yet) so when the waitress comes around to ask how we like the food my stepfather (still trying to keep the giggles in) asks where to buy them. He then blurts out “can I buy these?”, waving the sticks in his hand.

    “You want to buy the sticks???” The look on her face was priceless. Utter shock and disbelief. But sure enough, they gave us a pair each when paying the note.

    Holy mother of cringe I’m still embarrassed over this event.