• XIIIesq@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    You’re entitled to your opinion. I don’t see why I should respect people that don’t respect themselves.

    If I had a big fat arse due to eating ten cream cakes a day for ten years, I wouldn’t expect respect, I’d expect people to say “my god, that’s a big fat arse!”.

    Respect is to be earned, not simply expected.

    • irmoz@reddthat.com
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      1 year ago

      why I should respect people that don’t respect themselves

      Source for the lack of self respect? Or is that just your… opinion?

      I’d expect people to say “my god, that’s a big fat arse!”.

      Honestly, that sounds like no self respect to me. But what do I know?

      Respect is something you earn, not something you simply expect.

      Nope, expertise is something you earn. Respect should be expected.

      • RealFknNito@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Respect should be expected

        I always felt weird when people would tell me respect is earned, since I give everyone I meet respect until they give me a reason not to. Glad to see I’m not the only one with that perception.

      • XIIIesq@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        If someone thinks that they are respecting themselves by willfully making decisions that they know are terrible for their health, then I don know what to say, it’s not a concept that I think I could comprehend, but I’m willing to let you try changing my mind.

        Well it’s true, I know I have plenty of personal flaws, but I’m willing to take criticism of them. I’m not going to expect respect for doing fuck all about my personal problems and I don’t think anyone else should.

        Hard disagree. I respect people that put in hard work and effort towards achieving their goals, I don’t respect, nor do I have any time for pity parties. If you’re fat, that’s your problem, deal with it.

        • irmoz@reddthat.com
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          1 year ago

          If someone thinks that they are respecting themselves by willfully making decisions that they know are terrible for their health

          I’m gonna need you to point out someone saying this before I take this claim seriously.

          I know I have plenty of personal flaws, but I’m willing to take criticism of them.

          Unprompted criticism of your body is just bullying. Accepting that requires a lack of self respect.

          I’m not going to expect respect for doing fuck all about my personal problems and I don’t think anyone else should.

          You’re dragging the goalposts around and humping them, at this point. I didn’t say “respect for doing nothing.” Just… respect. The basic respect a human deserves for being human. Not getting on your knees, calling them lord, and complimenting their choices of fatty food. Just the bare minimum of not bullying them. Is that so hard?

          I respect people that put in hard work and effort towards achieving their goals

          Okay? But not every action is one to be judged on that criteria. Not everything is done to meet a goal. Just walking through town isn’t one of those things.

          I don’t respect pity parties.

          Who’s asking you to? Where’s the pity? Where’s the party?

          • XIIIesq@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            I think people deserve dignity, but that respect is something that’s earnt.

            If fat people don’t like being criticised for their bad choices and unhealthy, unattractive bodies, that’s really not my problem. If you hate that someone thinks you’re fat, lose some weight, is it really worth digging your heels in over to make a point about a lack of respect?

            • irmoz@reddthat.com
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              1 year ago

              Is it so hard to just not bully people? You don’t have to agree, you just have to not say anything. You’re the one dying on a hill, here.

              • XIIIesq@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                We have blurred lines between the ideas of a lack of respect and bullying.

                It’s disrespectful to say “my god, that’s a big fat arse!”, but it’s not bullying unless it’s repetitive and used with the intent of hurting their feelings, bullying also implies an imbalance of power.

                • irmoz@reddthat.com
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                  1 year ago

                  It doesn’t have to be repetitive, or an imbalance of power. Simply trying to hurt someone’s feelings for no reason would still be bullying. And i can’t think of any other reason to comment negatively on a stranger’s appearance to their face.

                  “My my, you have such wonky teeth!”

                  That would upset me, no matter who said it or how often.

                  • XIIIesq@lemmy.world
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                    1 year ago

                    The difference is that you have almost no control over whether your teeth are straight or not, or whether you’re wealthy enough to afford braces.

                    Anyone can put down the fork, drink water instead of mountain dew and choose not to have desert.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      The respect of not going in and talking shit on other people’s bodies absolutely is supposed to be simply expected. If I talked shit about other people’s bodies on the internet I wouldn’t expect respect, I’d expect T people to say “fuck, you’re a giant ass”

    • LogarithmicCamel@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      You’re a dick. You can say that about anything. You don’t own a house yet? That’s because of a string of poor decisions. You don’t respect yourself, otherwise you would have saved enough money. And then you’ll go, oh, but I am the one who has real problems, unlike those other fat people. Everyone who was more successful than you was lucky, everyone who was less successful was lazy. This is precisely what millionaires tell themselves to justify paying minimum wage. Those employees who accept working for this meager salary? No self respect, they deserve it.

      You? You are just a self-absorbed dick who can only see things from their own perspective and have no idea about other people’s problems.

      Written by someone who lost 70lb 15 years ago and didn’t gain it back. Did I suddenly acquire self-respect and discipline? Nope, just found a sustainable lifestyle that worked for me. Shocking, I know.

    • rockerface 🇺🇦@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      I think we might be using different definitions of respect. Respect as in “I want you to defer to me and do what I say” absolutely has to be earned. Respect as in “I don’t want you to shittalk people you’ve never met based on one arbitrarily selected criterion” is part of being a decent human being.