• CaptainEffort@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    I know it sounds like common sense, but I think a lot of us grew up with parents that made us finish our food even if we weren’t hungry. So eating more than we needed was normalized, and it became difficult to just stop mid meal.

    • sheogorath@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Growing up with not much also conditioned you to eat everything on the off chance you can get a full meal. This has been a point of contention with my SO several times. They came from a well off family and they have no problem not finishing their food or not using some ingredients in the fridge whereas I’ve been conditioned to finish all meals no matter what and to be able to use up everything (not letting stuff expire) stored in the fridge.

      • paintbucketholder@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Strong “you can’t let good food go to waste” in the post-war generation, including in my own family. It’s so ingrained even in the next generations that many of us will just “finish their plate” even though there’s no necessity there. Some of us are quite well off now, but attitudes around food haven’t changed. You have to finish your plate. You can’t let good food go to waste. People elsewhere are starving. People worked hard so you could have this food. You don’t know when you’ll be able to have a nice meal like this again.

        Like you, I realized the difference when I met people from different, well off, culturally food-secure backgrounds. They’d just stop eating, and throw the uneaten leftovers in the trash. Doesn’t matter how good the food was. Doesn’t matter how expensive the food was. Doesn’t matter that you could eat the leftovers later.

        I had a really hard time landing on some reasonable middle ground (you can save leftovers, but you’re allowed to stop eating when you’re full, etc.). Made me realize that it’s so much more cultural than personal. Also raises questions about what we’re going to pass down to the next generations, intentionally or not.

        • Sodis@feddit.de
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          1 year ago

          It’s also not rocket science to figure out, how much you need to eat and plan your groceries accordingly. I seldom throw away food or let it go to waste and I really dislike, if others do.

          • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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            1 year ago

            Same. I also don’t get the people saying it’s because they’re conditioned to clean their plate. Why are you putting so much on your plate in the first place? I get if you’re 7 and your mom’s doing it but an adult should be able to manage their portion sizes.

              • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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                1 year ago

                Yea that’s why I said that I could understand if you’re a kid. As an adult you have access to all the information you could possibly need to figure this shit out for yourself. It’s not complicated. I say that having grown up in a “clean your plate” household with my parents who gave very little thought to the nutritional composition of our meals. As soon as I got out of there I worked out a better meal plan and started collecting recipes. It wasn’t hard at all. You don’t even have to be perfect just keeping an eye on the amount of calories you’re consuming is 90% of it. You can do this even if you’re eating fast food all the time.

        • Socsa@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          But cultural attitudes are pretty easy to change if you can articulate them like this. I didn’t come from money or anything, any my parents were definitely strict about food, but not eating beyond being full seems as natural to me as not holding my breath until I pass out. What you are describing sounds more like ideological stubbornness than some cultural PTSD

        • Cookiesandcreamclouds@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          The great depression shit again? Still is a factor in this? It cannot happen again, it factually cannot. We are more efficient at growing food than we’ve ever been.

          • 31337@sh.itjust.works
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            1 year ago

            Definitely could happen again, and will eventually happen again. All civilizations fall eventually. Current food production, transportation, and preservation is almost entirely ran on fossil fuels (fertilizer, pesticides, machinery, refrigeration, etc). Climate change will eventually make a significant proportion of current productive land unproductive. Climate change, topsoil loss, super-bugs, super-weeds, etc are also already causing problems; and many experts think the current way of doing agriculture are unsustainable.

          • DogMuffins@discuss.tchncs.de
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            1 year ago

            Hmm… if you’re saying that food scarcity has been eliminated, I’m not so sure.

            There’s that article on the front page right now about many millions of snow crabs dying off due to our warming oceans. I know those specific crabs might not be a daily food source for you personally but shit, it’s a strong indicator that our oceans are not doing well.

            Also water scarcity is a looming problem resulting from climate change. There might be more rainfall in general but if it’s in the wrong place, at the wrong time, or in the wrong volume then we can’t use it to grow things. For example, if arable land dries out the surface becomes hydrophobic, then if you get a big downpour it can literally wash away a lot of your fertile soil.

            Also, fun fact (maybe factoid IDK), cities generally contain enough food for 3 days.

      • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        I was abused as a kid and while it stopped when I was 9 cause my grandmother got custody of me I still eat as much as I have. Im 23 that shit can get in deep.

  • GrayBackgroundMusic@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Yeah, seems obvious but when your entire childhood is filled with shame because “there are starving kids in Africa so finish your plate”, it’s not so simple. Or when you realize that eating is the basically the only joy you have in life, it’s not so simple. Or when you have to take medications for your mental health and the side effects are that you over eat, it’s not so simple. Or when you have no time to exercise bc both you and your wife have to work to afford anything in this stupid economy, it’s not so simple.

    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      Simple doesn’t mean easy. Running a marathon is simple, you just keep running until you get there. Yet the majority can’t do it.

      For each of the scenarios you presented, there is a simple solution:

      • “there are starving kids in Africa so finish your plate” - put less food on your plate
      • eating is the basically the only joy you have - expand your hobbies to find meaning elsewhere
      • medication… side effects - count calories
      • no time to exercise bc both you and your wife have to work - make exercise part of your commute

      Each of those are simple solutions, but they aren’t easy to implement. I get it, I don’t do the above nearly as much as I should; I know what I should do, but actually doing them is another story.

      Keep it up, you can do it. :)

    • DoomsdaySprocket@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      My parents stopped with that line (but Siberia for some reason) when I asked them to mail it to those kids so it doesn’t go to waste then.

      Still took me to around 10 years old I think.

      Also if everyone around you is eating disordered in the same way, you might never figure it out because you have no contrast (like OP).

      Also shift work messes up your eating too. So, so many ways for it to go wrong.

    • bane_killgrind@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      It is fucking simple.

      If this is insurmountable you are a lost cause unless you go get therapy.

      Figure out how to not impress this attitude on your children. If you can’t, don’t have children.

      Simple.

        • bane_killgrind@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          Nobody, I usually fast until noon.

          These are problems that are solved long term, and they are simple to fix. Maybe not for yourself, but the next generation needs a sustainable paradigm to live with.

          Plan your meals with your doctor, if medication is causing it. Make sure you know if there’s alternate medication and find out if those side effects are more or less palatable than weight gain.

          Reduce your reliance on work that costs you your personal health. Start giving less until you have enough for yourself. Don’t allow work to get in the way of your life on anything but a fixed temporary basis.

          Sure, these things are difficult to do if you don’t have the habit, but they are simple. It’s less difficult to teach your children to internalise these things.

          It’s not about you. It’s about the society around you. Push the values you want your kids to grow up with.

          This defeatist stuff about how you were taught it when you were young therefore you can’t be fixed has such a blazingly simple solution.

      • teuast@lemmy.ca
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        1 year ago

        hey man, people have struggles. just because you don’t have those struggles, and i don’t have those struggles, doesn’t mean they’re not valid struggles for the people who do have them. a bit of understanding can go a long way. or as one of my favorite musicians once said, “a little goddamn compassion never hurt a motherfucker.”

        and regardless of my personal opinion on having kids, i don’t see what it has to do with this conversation.

      • waow@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        Lazy fatsos are downvoting this. As my psychiatrist bluntly said to me — it’s not Seroquel that’s stuffing your face with potato chips.

        • bane_killgrind@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          It’s not personal choice. Create the environment where, it’s odd that highly processed foods are the default snack. Create the environment where exercising and listening to your body is expected.

          I’m saying extremely privileged things, there are people without access to healthy foods. This doesn’t get rid of everyone else’s responsibility to vote in elections and vote with their dollars.

          • waow@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            it’s not about healthy foods. It’s never been about healthy foods. It’s always been about not stuffing your face. It’s always been about mostly healthy most of the time. Which you can only really do if you cook for yourself.

            Actually not serving home cooked meals to your children is child abuse, also.

            • bane_killgrind@lemmy.ml
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              1 year ago

              Yeah, if sugary breakfast cereals weren’t heavily marketed to families and fast foods and high fructose corn syrups weren’t heavily subsidized food items I might agree with you.

              Right now it’s financially less optimal to eat right. That doesn’t mean it’s too hard to do, you just have to think about it if you can afford it.

      • makyo@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        And I think your stomach is more likely to tell you you’re full sooner if it has been a while since you last ate.

        • Socsa@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          Yeah this is the part a lot of people here are missing. If you just don’t overeat for a week or two, that entire hormone pathway recalibrates pretty quickly and both your pre-meal appetite and fullness will trend towards being satisfied with less food.

          The other thing see a lot is people who simply cannot tolerate any hunger at all. They must eat the moment they feel even slightly hungry, and this becomes an insanely powerful urge over time. It’s ok to just be hungry sometimes, especially if you are trying to lose weight.

          • DickFiasco@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            It’s amazing how that works. I started intermittent fasting about a week ago (basically just skipping breakfast) and now when I do eat, I’m full after a few bites. So I’m eating fewer meals on top of eating less food per meal.

    • kugel7c@feddit.de
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      1 year ago

      I’m sort of the opposite I always just ate however much I felt like which usually isn’t too much, now I try to actively notice whenever I start getting hungry. So that I can start eating or at least gathering food. To avoid the bad hunger.

      Also pretty forehead advice.

      Notice hunger -> get food.

    • Stuka@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      I’ve been doing this for a while and I still get questioned as to why I sometimes eat so little. 🤷 if I get hungry I can just eat more.

  • Chaos@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Quantity of food: weight. Quality of food: health. Remember you can still get diabetes being slim. Also I guess health can be quantity if you become morbidly obese.

  • SuperSaiyanSwag@lemmy.zip
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    1 year ago

    There are definitely high calorie low weight food out there that will make you exceed your calorie count without you feeling full.

    • JasSmith@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      That’s when you use your evolved prefrontal cortex and stop eating the fried chicken anyway because you’ve already had three pieces.

  • krush_groove@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Well also being young and probably somewhat active.

    But it’s a great habit to develop so you don’t put on a pound every year like the western world tends to do.

    • berrodeguarana@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      One thing that helped me tremendously since I’m a cheapskate is the realization that:

      " wait, you’re telling me I will stay healthy AND save money by eating leftovers every other day!? Sold!"

      It’s actually quite scary the amount of money one can save when they buy and eat food to stay healthy instead of using it to feel good ( nothing wrong with that, I just don’t overindulge in this habit)

    • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      yep. I was a rakish youth despite pounding 12 beers and chips wrapped in Naan bread and slathered in curry sauce every Saturday. I didn’t have to start watching my weight until my mid 20s.

      • krush_groove@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I used to live in the US and a semi regular meal was a foot long chili dog, double jalapeño cheeseburger, tater tots, onion rings and 44 Oz cherry Dr Pepper from Sonic. I wasn’t particularly active, either. Once I hit my mid 20s I had to give that up!

    • TWeaK@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      I think it’s also still somewhat related to what you eat. Over the years fast food has gotten a little less bad for you, with things like trans fat and sodium being targeted. But yeah everyone’s grandma telling them to finish their plate all the time, or face punishment, definitely doesn’t help. We teach our children to gorge themselves.

  • Cookiesandcreamclouds@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    So many people don’t want to accept it really is calories in vs calories out. Yes, even if you have PCOS, or whatever the fuck else. If you are somehow a genetic anomaly that does not meet this rule, please donate yourself to science after you die.

    Get the Lose it app, scan in what you eat and go for a damn walk. You’ll drop.

    • rckclmbr@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      I really hate CICO being harbored as the solution though. Diet AND EXERCISE are needed. If you do a caloric deficit, your muscles will also atrophy. If you do this multiple times (diet, maintain, diet, maintain), you will continue to have less and less muscle mass and as a result a lower metabolism, which will make it harder and harder to lose fat. So, I still say just eat healthy (whole foods, plenty of fruits and veggies, enough protein) and the calories will take care of themselves. And lift weights.

  • Leviathan@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I lost 120lbs and have managed to keep it off for almost three years now. I came to the same realization as OP. Problem is I don’t have that thing, I can eat so goddamn much before I feel full that calorie counting will probably be a lifelong thing for me. Wish there was a pill or something to help because it’s a case of constant self-control.

    • AdamHenry@discuss.tchncs.de
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      1 year ago

      I guess you just answered a question I had as I can’t imagine eating past the point where I am full. It is aphysical discomfort to my body. I feel like I’ve got a large rock in my gut that takes hours for it to subside. Even thought we are largely the same, we are differemt.

      • Leviathan@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Yeah exactly. It’s like I’m more or less numb to the sensation of being full if it’s supposed to be a physical thing. I’ve eaten to the point where it hurts but I really feel like there’s nothing in between.

    • SOB_Van_Owen@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      22 year maintainer of a 115 lb loss here. In that time I have come to know my satiety feedback mechanism is broken. Realizing this, and knowing putting my weight back on is unacceptable for reasons of health, the only choice left is to get around the faulty signalling. A lot of sorts of food are off the table for me. I find if I pay close attention to things like glycemic index, caloric density, and generally cooking and eating for satiety, CICO loses some urgency. Though it still bears watching.

      Convenience/fast/processed food is generally formulated to circumvent the “fixed stomach problem” and motivate folks to eat way too much. It should be packaged with a warning like cigarettes. Congratulations! And good luck with maintenance. It can be done!

    • chardphillips@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      There’s some interesting research being done on Semaglutide that supposedly does exactly this. It’s showing really good results for obese people and enabling weight loss by reducing appetite.

    • Ranadok@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Man, I feel like I could have written this at an earlier point in my life. I lost about that much a decade ago with strict calorie counting and kept it off for a while, always trying to ignore what my body felt like it needed and following what the math said I needed. It became so mentally exhausting that I fell off the wagon and gained it all back (plus a bit) over the past few years.

      But… My doctor put me on semaglutide a few months ago (ozempic/wegovy) and man… It’s like the switch flipped. When I’ve eaten enough, I just stop eating, no problem. Reasonable portions are actually satisfying and the urge to stuff my face is all but gone. It’s like my hunger gauge has been broken all my life and this finally fixed it.

      Not saying it’s a miracle drug or anything (side effects can be a bit of a bitch), and talk to your doctor etc, but when you said you wish there was a pill…

      • Leviathan@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Honestly this sounds amazing. I’ve heard of it, I think from Adam Ragusea and it seems like it would really help me finally control my over eating. I’ll look into it.

    • PersnickityPenguin@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      Try slowing down your eating and consuming some tea or water at the beginning of your meal.

      It takes about 15-20 minutes for your brain to register your stomach is actually full.

      However, stress eating kind of derails all of this.

  • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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    1 year ago

    And that was me thinking you should just continue stuffing your fat face even though you’re no longer enjoying the experience.

    I’m now starting to think that it’s possible that OP’s problem is actually more of a neurological one.

  • Saledovil@sh.itjust.works
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    I’ve read its also a cultural thing. As in, in China it’s considered rude to finish your meal, as that means your host didn’t provide enough food. Hence you always leave something left over. Contrary to that, in western cultures, it’s considered rude to leave something of your meal, as that means you don’t like the food.

    • arin@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I’m Chinese and all my family and branches of relatives all tell us to finish our food and not leave any for waste, we always bag leftovers too.

      • BayBoredom@lemmy.world
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        When I lived in China, my gf always insisted I don’t waste any food that we cooked. We’re both pretty thin so that could be a struggle at times. But part of the reason for this attitude is because she was raised in a village area without proper refrigeration available so not finishing most cooked foods meant risking illness from food spoiling later.

  • Teon@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    Artificial sweeteners and highly processed foods can shut off your “I’m full” safety valve.
    Read the labels on the foods you eat, educate yourself.
    Corporations want you to eat to excess, it’s profitable.

      • amelia@feddit.de
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        1 year ago

        I have never heard this before and I’m pretty sure it’s nonsense.

          • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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            1 year ago

            There are also artificial sweeteners that are toxic to dogs even in small quantities, but humans can eat them all day with no ill effects. And it’s not about body mass either, because humans might be say 2x the body mass of a dog, but we can eat 10 times the quantity and be fine.

            Saying that a particular compound has an effect in laboratory test animals isn’t really anywhere close to saying that it might be the same in humans, there is plenty of precedents to be said that it probably won’t work like that.

          • Blackmist@feddit.uk
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            1 year ago

            I figure they’re probably safe and certainly not more harmful than sugar.

            They just taste wank.

            • Piemanding@sh.itjust.works
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              Heard from sci show that they make you crave sugar more since they are stronger than real sugar. Also, they make your intestines absorb more sugar since the sugar receptors get clogged trying to absorb the artificial stuff and they pull more. That second one probably doesn’t affect you very much though.

              • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world
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                1 year ago

                they are stronger than real sugar

                This is only true on a per-weight basis - which is why they use a lot less of it to obtain the same degree of sweetness.

                they make your intestines absorb more sugar since the sugar receptors get clogged trying to absorb the artificial stuff

                This is an amazing chunk of nonsense you should actually be congratulated for.

                That second one probably doesn’t affect you very much though

                Because it’s nonsense.

      • pomodoro_longbreak@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        I think it’s just sugar. At least I’ve heard that sweet things can kind of bypass your satiety. Most of us know the feeling of being full, but “having a bit of room for dessert”

      • corey389@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        For starters number one on the list, fructose corn syrup is specifically engineered just for those reasons. “Eating More”

        • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          “Artificial sweetener” usually means something that stimulates your taste buds like sugar but cannot be metabolically processed for energy like sugar. HFCS is still actually sugar.

          • Peaty@sh.itjust.works
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            1 year ago

            It’s called glucose-sucrose syrup and it is legal in the EU. You do have it you just call it something else. I can also be called isoglucose